For the first time in 34 years, the Patriots have a Rust problem.

This time, it’s Je-Rod Rust whose team that has begun to corrode along the edges, is unable to
free itself from indecision, and remains frozen in the grip of inept assistant coaches.

Gillette Stadium needs to be power washed with Rust-Oleum. Starting in the owners’ suite.

The affable Rod Rust helmed the local AFC East squad in 1990. Rust was a first-year head coach whose career had been spent as a defensive coordinator. Je-Rod Rust is also a first-year head coach. Patriots lore has it that Je-Rod Rust (known elsewhere in these pages as Jerod Mayo) was christened as Bill Belichick’s successor some five years ago after a speech he delivered during a visit to Israel with owner Robert Kraft and several other Patriots folk.

A giddy Robert Kraft expanded on this when he was interviewed by Taylor Rooks of the Amazon Prime NFL Thursday Night Football crew before the Patriots-Jets game in Week 2.

“Jerod learned a lot from Bill. You know, the technical background,” Kraft said. “I’ve gotten to
know Jerod over the last 15 years. I picked him five years ago to be our next head coach. He’s very special and had the ability to train under Bill.”

It’s all about the “culture,” you know.

At the time, the Patriots were 1-1 and were coming off an oh-so-close 23-20 OT loss to Seattle.
Duck Boats had begun to amass. The flight plan to Kraft Force One to Super Bowl 59 in New
Orleans was about to be filed with the FAA.

Less than three months later, the Patriots were officially eliminated from the playoffs on Dec. 1. Some 70 days ahead of the Super Bowl. The first season with just the final third of “The Dynasty” in residence became a Red Line derailment.

This is the first time since Kraft bought the team in January 1994 that he’s worked without a net. Until this season, Kraft has had Bill Parcells, Drew Bledsoe, Bill Belichick and/or Tom Brady in his employ as team owner.

John Henry’ wielding the tightest wallet possible would be hard pressed to screw up under those circumstances for more than a year or two. Even Pete Carroll’s Patriots reached the
playoffs in two of his three seasons.

“A lot of things were going on that made it difficult for him to stay, some of which were out of his control. And it began with following a legend,” Kraft said at the time he fired Carroll after the 1999 season.

That’s a big hint that Kraft is going to be far more patient with Je-Rod Rust than the old Patriots’
regime was with plain old Rod Rust.

Rod Rust did not earn his job as Patriots head coach when he went to the Remington shaver
factory in Bridgeport with then-owner Victor Kiam.

Rather, he was pulled out of head coaching obscurity when then-GM Patrick Sullivan fired
Raymond Berry in February. In typical Patriots dysfunction of the time, Sullivan and Berry had a
falling out after a disagreement over hiring an offensive coordinator.

Like Je-Rod Rust, Rod Rust was a Patriots’ defensive assistant when the team reached the Super Bowl. That was Super Bowl XX during which the Patriots were massacred by Richard Dent and the Chicago Bears live on NBC.

Rod Rust’s 1990 campaign was indisputably the worst season in franchise history on and off the field. It gave us the Lisa Olson sexual harassment scandal, Victory Kiam’s “Patriot Missile” one-liner, and a 1-15 season that set all-time franchise records for futility in victories, scoring, and watchability.

The 2024 Patriots won’t even crack the bottom five when it comes to all-time worst Patriots teams.

The optimists among us could liken this team to the 1993 Patriots.

First-year coach. Rookie QB. 5-11 finish.

OK, five wins might be asking for a lot here.

And Je-Rod Rust is no Bill Parcells.

But Drake Maye is giving off plenty of DB11, if not TB12, vibes.

And here’s where the Je-Rod Rust problem could lead to massive collapse of the entire structure that is under construction on Route 1.

Do you want to blow out Alex Van Pelt? Fine, but what does Maye think about his current
offensive coordinator? Would a change after Week 1 slow Maye’s rocket ship development?
Will Van Pelt finally trust Maye enough to let him throw in the red zone, as opposed to settling for a field goal try? Will he ever let Maye throw on first down?

The Rust problem on offense has let the fear of losing outweigh the desire to win when it comes to the most critical of decisions.

Foreigner hit No. 1 on the charts 43 years ago with “Urgent.”

Rumor has it that song has been removed from every play list at One Patriot Place.

And when you’re in the midst of a down-to-the-studs rebuild, learning how to win is the most
paramount of tasks. In addition to not holding on every other play and handling the snap-count
on the road.

When the only problem on this team was the offense, it was so simple. Just stack the draft with
offensive lineman and wideouts.

Now the defense, too, has quickly rusted to its core. Save for the silver star bestowed on Christian Gonzalez.  Defensive coordinator DeMarcus Covington appears to be simply overwhelmed with his first-year task. The Colts’ 1945 Red Army-like game-winning drive Sunday bodes doom for those two upcoming games against MVP-in-waiting Josh Allen and the Bills.

Je-Rod Rust could multi-task and handle the defense, or at the very least step in to stop the
carnage.

All that cash the Patriots once had to burn might not cover their post-season winter heating bill.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos on X) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.