They’re not making arsonists like they used to.

I mention this undeniable fact on the eve of the worldwide “Tesla Takedown” tomorrow to protest Elon Musk’s campaign against waste, fraud and abuse in the federal budget.

Apparently this is very triggering to Democrats, the party of waste, fraud and abuse, as long as it’s going to them, and most of it is.

Over the last few weeks, across the nation, lunatics have been warming up for tomorrow’s day of rage by vandalizing and torching both individual Teslas and the dealerships where they’re sold and serviced.

They say crime doesn’t pay, and it certainly hasn’t thus far for the Tesla torchers.

As much as we all condemn their actions, the shiftless Democrat hippies apparently need to be reminded of some simple rules involving a successful arson.

Reconnoiter the area to make sure there are no working security cameras.

Make sure the fire catches before you flee the scene.

Be sure to take all containers of accelerant with you when you flee the premises.

Above all, do not – repeat, DO NOT – set yourself on fire as you are trying to protest… whatever.

This is basic stuff – Arson 101. Anyone who ever watched, say, Goodfellas, knows all this. But again, the perps here are Democrats. They are not sending us their best, even to the Tesla lots.

All the above rules have been violated in recent weeks. These Kamala voters are even getting caught when they’re keying the Teslas. They never did their homework in public school, so why would they do the slightest research before getting into the arson racket?

It took me three seconds to find this on AI yesterday:

“Yes, all Tesla vehicles manufactured after 2017 have cameras for security features.”

But job one is not setting yourself on fire. Just ask Daniel Clarke-Pounder, a 24-year-old hobo from South Carolina who scrawled the traditional “Bleep Trump” and “Love live the Ukraine” on three Tesla charging stations before tossing Molotov cocktails at them.

“The suspect,” police reported, “accidentally caught their own back on fire while throwing the devices.”

This is why a professional torch is always accompanied on a job by a “blanket man.” If the worst happens, the blanket man is there to put the fire out.

But I’m guessing that any guy in South Carolina with a hyphenated last name probably doesn’t have any friends, let alone one willing to act as his trusted “blanket man.”

Most of those arrested as Tesla terrorists have one thing in common, as the Daily Caller noted – “she/they pronouns.”

In Colorado, one Lucy Grace Nelson, nee Justin Thomas Nelson, was charged with throwing the usual incendiary devices and scrawling the customary graffiti. Nelson preferred to spray paint, “Bleep Musk.”

The New York Post found Nelson’s father and asked him about his son, er daughter.

“He changed his name to Lucy a few years ago,” Dad told the newspaper. “He’s in his early 40s but has been living with his mother who has been taking care of him.

“He has emotional problems. He hasn’t been able to keep a job.”

Sounds like a good Democrat to me. On social media, he calls himself “baby,” as in “Baby got her first bra!”

Then there’s Adam Matthew Lansky, age 41, of Oregon, accused of throwing Molotov cocktails and shooting a rifle at a Tesla dealership. Lansky left behind some bottles – he doesn’t care about the insurance obviously, but he might have thought about his fingerprints and DNA.

Lansky is identified on social media as a “trans activist.” He wears simply marvelous purple wigs that Dylan Mulvaney and Sam Brinton would die for.

Next is Erin White, from suburban Chicago. She uses “she/they” pronouns. When she vandalized a Tesla center she slimed both Trump and Musk in addition to supporting “trans rights.”

Do you detect a pattern here? Of course it’s very bad behavior, but this kind of insanity is less harmful than these Democrats murdering little children at some Christian school or randomly assaulting MAGA college students in Dallas, which happened just this week.

But surely the they/thems can find some better way to pass the time than setting themselves and everything else on fire. Aren’t there any girls’ high-school pole vaulting competitions coming up in Maine this weekend?

Back in the 1970s, the city of Boston had rent control. It was a disaster. It always is. In buildings where the drug-addled hippies were hanging on to their below-market rents, guess what started happening?

Fires. Somebody finally got burned to death in the Fenway. It was a big scandal. The landlords adjusted. They started buying out the holdout tenants. Sometimes one surly hippie – think Bernie Sanders – would hold out and refuse to leave.

Obviously, it didn’t make sense to torch the whole apartment building to get rid of one goateed drifter from parts unknown. But what if the landlord was… friends… with a local fire company?

He could phone in a false alarm, and his personal ladder company would go in with axes and hoses, demolish the entire apartment, rendering it uninhabitable.

The blow-in hippie would be left homeless. He’d have to move back to New York and in short order the apartments would become condominiums.

There were no more problems, because one would never investigate the hero jakes. Like in Vietnam, they just had to destroy the apartment in order to save it.

Nowadays, I suppose the Democrat hippies could swat the Tesla dealerships, but by now everybody’s figured out that gag too.

This week, the Democrats seem to be concentrating on merely keying the Teslas – especially the cybertrucks. Again, the lack of criminal prep work is very telling. They’re all being recorded, and instantly busted, across the country.

In New Hampshire last weekend, at the Mount Washington Resort, a middle-aged guy was videotaped keying by one of the truck’s five – yes, five! – security cameras. He was wearing orange pants – violating yet another ironclad rule when committing this sort of mischief.

When perpetrating a senseless street crime, wear nondescript clothing. And don’t do it in broad daylight, which Mr. Orange Pants did.

The story even made the Daily Mail in the UK. The owner of the cyber truck posted on X:

“Charges pending! Class A felony in NH.”

I tried to reach the victim yesterday, after her posting on X got 8.1 million views. She texted me back that she’s not doing interviews right now. Oh well, the video speaks for itself.

Tomorrow, Tesla Takedown will be coming to a dealership near you, along with some stoned, unemployed hippies who need a good shave and a bath.

Be there, or be square. But if you’re a Democrat planning on causing trouble, remember one thing for sure.

Bring a blanket man with you.