Kinky Cambridge City Councilor Paul Toner (rhymes with boner) must be asking himself a lot of questions this weekend, but one above all:

Is it possible that being lugged with a prostitute can become a resume enhancer for a male Democrat politician in Massachusetts?

Most assuredly, but only under one condition.

The hooker must be a male.

Otherwise, it’s just too… unseemly for the Beautiful People who now control every lever of power in the state Democratic party.

From Celebrate Diversity to Celebrate Perversity — the Democrat party has come a long way. The love that once dared not speak its name now can’t shut up.

Consider ex-Rep. Barney Frank. He was going nowhere in Congress until he hooked up with an overaged catamite named “Hot Bottom.”

Barney was so smitten with his pay-to-play rent boy that he allowed Hot Bottom to set up a brothel in Frank’s own basement apartment on Capitol Hill.

Then there was the Democrat congressman from the abutting district, Gerry Studds. He liked ‘em young, even younger than Hot Bottom, which is why he got run out of John Kerry’s old prep school. Master Studds insisted on holding his dorm meetings at St. Paul’s School with his teenaged male charges… in the nude.

Even at St. Paul’s, that seemed a little over the top.

After his election to the House, Studds took an under-age page to Europe, got the lad drunk and buggered him. That proud moment really made Studds’ career in Congress! The Democrats even renamed 842 square miles of the Atlantic Ocean after the serial pederast.

Do you begin to understand Toner’s problem? He was with a woman! Local Democrats will tolerate a lot these days, but open heterosexuality is pushing the envelope.

In Cambridge, some tolerant Democrats have charitably adopted a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy about breeders. You can claim you have a cat, and they may let you “pass.”

For instance, the black lesbian mayor of Cambridge, who succeeded the black gay mayor, seems to have had no comment on Toner’s outing as a heterosexual.

Outside the courthouse on Friday, Toner’s lawyer made a brief statement about his pervert client.

“He is a man of high character,” said Tim Flaherty, who should know something about character. He himself was indicted on federal witness-tampering charges a decade ago. (He pled guilty to lesser charges in state court because… Democrats.)

Plus, Tim is the son of former state House Speaker Good Time Charlie Flaherty, convicted felon (income tax evasion), the first of three consecutive Massachusetts House speakers to be convicted of federal crimes (with a fourth listed as an unindicted coconspirator).

But to survive in the Sodom & Gomorrah that is Cambridge 2025, you need more than a crooked lawyer from a crooked family of hack pols.

Toner has done his best to overcome his racial, gender and class handicaps. His wife of course retained her maiden name (Susan Connelly). He doesn’t exactly advertise that he was born here and went to Catholic school — both almost automatic disqualifications for elective office now.

Toner does have one indisputable plus on his resume. He used to be president of what has become the most powerful union in Massachusetts, the Mass. Teachers Association (MTA).

The MTA basically runs the state now. In successive elections, it has used its bottomless campaign war chest to first impose a graduated income tax on the state (guaranteeing it a billion dollars a year in perpetuity from people who work for a living, for an investment of maybe $20 million).

Then last year the MTA spent another $16 million to buy 2 million votes in a referendum to abolish standardized testing in the public schools. In other words, MTA members now have no accountability, and achievement levels in the schools are plummeting, but who cares? Certainly not the MTA.

But perhaps the MTA’s greatest achievement in recent Democrat politics was its virulently Jew-hating website, which even a Democrat legislator recently described as “virulently anti-Semitic.”

Sadly, by the time the MTA had morphed into this sinister Soros-like enterprise, Toner had moved on. He was tip-toeing through the tulips with “Tulip,” the common nightwalker the cops charged him with paying $340 for “girlfriend experiences.”

It’s not like Toner is the first Cambridge city councilor to get jammed up. One did a stretch for bank fraud. Another one let her cocaine-dealing thug son use her car before the kid went to federal prison for pimping. (But I guess that was okay because he was a POC — a pimp of color.)

Anyway, Cambridge named a public school after that city councilor whose son was a pimp. I don’t see that honorific in the cards for Councilor Toner.

Some of my radio listeners on Friday were confused about this latest Democrat hack in a scandal. One asked me if he was “the perv in the Prius.” No, I explained, that was the sicko solon in Arlington, the next town over — ex-Sen. Jim Marzilli.

Then someone suggested that Toner just cite the traditional bad-ice-cube defense? Nah, I said. That too has already been employed in Cambridge. Remember ex-Sen. Anthony Galluccio — a/k/a “Jail-uccio?”

Another former mayor of Cambridge, Jail-uccio had a thirst so great it would cast a shadow. After multiple OUIs, he was locked up on house arrest, subject to periodic alcohol testing.

Immediately the senator was busted again. His excuse was that his breathalyzer test had been contaminated by the alcohol in the tooth paste he was using.

We never could figure out if Jail-uccio had been brushing his teeth with Michelob Ultra Brite, or Harvey’s Bristol Gleam, or maybe Arm and Hammered. Whatever, he never had the infected-toothpaste problem again after he was sentenced to the Billerica House of Correction.

So you see, all the good alibis have already been taken. I think Toner will have a hard time getting reelected in the fall. He faces a stiff fight.

On his resume, he lists once being a member of Charlie Baker’s “Education Transition Committee.” If he wants to stay in politics in Cambridge, it may be time for Toner to announce another… transition, if you know what I mean.

I called his office at Cambridge City Hall yesterday and got his voicemail. I told him to call me back if he wanted to me to include a quote about his sordid adventures tip-toeing through the tulips with Tulip.

When the phone didn’t ring, I knew it was Councilor Boner, er Toner.

Somehow I don’t think this story is going to have a happy ending.