Q. My children spent the Christmas break with my ex visiting his family in New Jersey.  I am beginning to think he spent his entire Christmas bonus on AirTags.  Every time the kids walk by me my phone notifies me that there is a new AirTag in my vicinity.  I have been finding AirTags sewn into the lining of their new clothes, in the soles of their new sneakers, you name it.

I sent him a message and he denied putting AirTags in any of their things.  He claims his mother did all the shopping.

This feels like a huge invasion of privacy.  By tagging the kids, either my ex or my former in-laws can track all of my movements.  My kids have also told me that their grandparents grilled them about my boyfriend, how much time they spend at his place and details of my life. Can I do anything about this invasion of privacy?

A. Do you think you have found all of the AirTags at this point?  If not, I suggest you box up the children’s new things and deliver them to your ex.  Send him a message via OurFamilyWizard telling him that he is welcome to return the items to the children once has been through it all and determined that there are no more AirTags in anything.  If you find more, you will donate their Christmas gifts to charity.  Be clear that you are doing this because of the inappropriate invasion of privacy.

The other thing you can do is object to the children traveling out of state to visit his parents again.  Consult your agreement.  Presumably he needs to notify you or get your permission to travel with them out of state.  If he does not need permission, you can file a complaint to modify the parenting plan so that they don’t go to his parents’ home.  While this is extreme, their action is also extreme.  Your ex and his family need to understand that the violation of your privacy is not something you will tolerate and using the children as pawns to spy on your whereabouts is even worse.

Most agreements also have non-disparagement provisions.  If you have to go to court, you should invoke this provision as well and raise the issue that your children being around his family exposes them to negative opinions and intense inquiry about your personal life.  If their behavior is exposed, maybe they learn to be more respectful.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com