By Samantha Erb

Don’t spend Mother’s Day faking a smile. From self-care rituals to low-stress family activities, here’s how to actually enjoy your day.

This Mother’s Day, you can have everything you want and need to make your day special. You just have to ask for it.

If you’re a mom, you’ve probably experienced the unpleasant feeling of Mother’s Day plans gone wrong. Perhaps you were surprised with a pancake breakfast – and the bonus gift of having to clean it all up afterward. Or maybe you were hoping for some quality family time, but no one made time for you.

This year, you deserve a Mother’s Day that doesn’t involve faking happiness when you’re actually feeling disappointed. So why not ask for it? And if you don’t know where to start, keep reading for a list of effortless options that can restore the joy, relaxation, and family bonding that Mother’s Day should be all about. After all, it’s your day.

A peaceful, grounded start to your day

Whoever came up with the idea of a loud, messy and chaotic breakfast in bed to kick off Mother’s Day definitely wasn’t a mom. In the immortal words of Chief Hopper, “Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.” So if you’re not into getting toast crumbs all over your sheets, why not start a new tradition?

Think about what you’d actually like to get out of your morning, and then tell your family so that it actually happens. Maybe your perfect morning involves reading a book or taking a solo walk to a coffee shop. If possible, ask your partner to step in so that you aren’t dealing with childcare during what ought to be a restful morning.

Easy activities and recipes to enjoy as a family

If quality time with your children is an important part of your Mother’s Day, choose manageable activities that won’t get out of control. Playing a board game or doing a puzzle together is a great way to bond as a family without the mess of elaborate craft projects or baking endeavors.

Getting in the kitchen is another easy way to spend time together with a fail-proof recipe like three-ingredient peanut butter balls. With minimal cleanup – that will ideally be taken care of by someone else – and no baking involved, these treats will still allow your family to feel like they’re spoiling you on your special day.

On Mother’s Day, take time for yourself

Mother’s Day can be complicated. Having a difficult relationship with your own mom or dealing with grief are just a few of the factors that can make Mother’s Day an emotionally charged time.

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If you would benefit from having time to yourself on Mother’s Day, ask for it. Working on your favorite hobbies, trying an art or fitness class, getting your nails done or just lounging around on the sofa are all excellent ways to take care of yourself on your special day.

Whatever you do, just don’t feel any pressure to cook, clean, run errands or otherwise be helpful. Enjoy your relaxation time, because you’ve more than earned it.

Low-stress family outings

Does your ideal Mother’s Day involve a family outing? A simple picnic in your local park can be a stress-free way to enjoy the outdoors together. Gather some sandwiches, water bottles and healthy-ish snacks like fresh fruit and fruit dip. Better yet, let someone else pack the picnic basket and you’re ready for a fun-filled afternoon in the sun.

Let your family treat you to Mother’s Day dinner

Depending on how old your kids are, you can wrap up your Mother’s Day by preparing a favorite meal together. Cooking together in the kitchen, especially if someone else washes the dishes, can be just as meaningful as enjoying the meal itself. End your night sweetly with an easy dessert like canned peach pie, which only requires ten minutes of prep time.

If you don’t even want to think about the kitchen during Mother’s Day, why not order your favorite takeout food for dinner? This easy option gives your family plenty of time to decompress, especially if you’ve had a day packed full of activities.

End the day with a cozy family movie

Can anyone say no to a family movie night? Cuddling up together and watching a movie before bed is a great way to conclude Mother’s Day. Laughing over a favorite film or discovering a new one together is the perfect way to wind down the day. Alternatively, let the kids have a movie night while you and your partner enjoy some alone time.

Practicing gratitude as a family

Towards the end of the day – perhaps over dessert, or just before bed – take a moment to reflect upon what everyone was grateful for during Mother’s Day. It might sound cheesy, but acknowledging the love and effort that your family members put in can start a beautiful new tradition that will ultimately bring the family closer.

A Mother’s Day tradition worth starting

Initially, asking for what you want on Mother’s Day might feel overly demanding. It’s ironic that even on a day that’s supposedly for them, moms are expected to put their families first.

A self-planned Mother’s Day doesn’t have to add a ton of items to your to-do list, either. A simple conversation with your family before the big day, or even on the morning of, will keep your Mother’s Day from falling flat. Sometimes, dropping a hint just isn’t enough.

If all else fails, just send your loved ones a link to this article. Then, get ready to enjoy a day that is truly focused on you. You – and all moms everywhere – deserve it.

Samantha Erb is the owner of Everyday Family Cooking, a recipe website focused on providing simple meals with few ingredients that still pack on the flavor.