Q. Each time my son goes to see his father, I get a phone call telling me there is no food in the house. My son tells me he’s starving. “Dad never feeds us!” He’s 14! He needs to eat.

I don’t want my son to be hungry and since I rarely talk to his dad, I just call Grubhub and have something quick like McDonald’s delivered. Then I get angry texts from his dad about how I am interfering! It’s strange because his father loved to cook when we were together. I don’t know what to do. What’s good ex-etiquette?

A. I think your son is playing games and that’s just the first red flag. You see, when co-parents don’t talk, their kids can tell them anything and there’s no way to check if the child is being truthful because the parents don’t talk.

Second red flag? If dad loved to cook when you were together, why would he all of a sudden not like to cook? It’s more likely that your son doesn’t like what dad cooked and prefers fast food. Knowing he can work the system, your son calls you and you Grubhub him a Big Mac. I am employing Good Ex-etiquette Rule No. 7 here, “Put yourself in their shoes.” What if you were cooking a special meal for the kids and dad sent over McDonald’s because your son just sneaked in the other room and called you?

Dad and you have created an environment where your son is running the show and you and dad lash out at one another in reaction to your son’s poor behavior. You are co-parents and you must learn to compare notes and verify information passed along before judgments are made.

How you present this to your son is critical. When he calls you complaining of not being fed, respond by saying something like, “Really? Dad isn’t feeding you? I’m sure there is some sort of misunderstanding. Let your dad and I discuss it…”

Your son now knows that his parents talk and you’re working together. One of my favorite lines is “You don’t have to be a couple to raise your children together.” That’s good ex-etiquette.

Dr. Jann Blackstone is a child custody mediator and the author of “The Bonus Family Handbook.” Tribune News Service