Q: My ex and I just broke up. I know, great time of year. I’ve been invited to a New Year’s Eve party and I’m sure he’ll be there with his new girlfriend. I want to go, but I already feel embarrassed and awkward, and I have no idea how to handle it. What’s good ex-etiquette?

A: Believe it or not, there is a way to approach this with dignity, confidence, and good ex-etiquette.

First, check your motives. Do you want to go because you genuinely enjoy these friends, or do you feel pressure not to “lose” social ground? If attending feels like self-punishment — an emotional tightrope walk where you’ll be monitoring his every move — it may not be the healthiest choice. But if you want to go, and you believe you can be gracious even when it stings, then give yourself permission to attend. Healing doesn’t come from hiding. It comes from living.

Second, plan ahead. Good Ex-Etiquette Rule No. 3 is “Don’t badmouth.” That rule includes badmouthing yourself. Don’t walk in anticipating humiliation. Your value didn’t change because your ex moved on quickly, or at least appears to have. Your worth is not measured by who your ex brings to a party.

Third, have an emotional strategy. Before you walk through the door, decide what you will do if the moment becomes uncomfortable. Will you take a quick breather outside? Stick close to the friends who make you feel grounded? Knowing your escape routes doesn’t mean you’re fragile, it means you’re prepared.

Fourth, keep the interaction light and brief. If you do run into your ex, a simple, “Happy New Year. Good to see you,” is all that’s required. No explanations. No comparisons. No drama. Your calm composure will speak for itself. Neutral is classy.

Finally, remember this: showing up graciously is a form of closure. So, if you want to go to that party, hold your head high, take a deep breath, and step into the new year with confidence. You’re not behind. You’re beginning. That’s good ex-etiquette.

Dr. Jann Blackstone is a child custody mediator and the author of “The Bonus Family Handbook.”/Tribune News Service