The northernmost town in the United States entered its “polar night” this week.

The sun took a bow on Utqiagvik, Alaska, formerly known as Barrow, at 1:27 p.m. local time Monday.

It won’t return until 1:15 p.m. on Jan. 22.

Until then, residents face more than 2 months of 24/7 darkness. Utqiagvik is 330 miles north of the Arctic Circle.

Much like the nearly 5,000 hearty souls who inhabit Utqiagvik, the Boston Bruins are in the midst of their own “polar night.”

But they’re on much thinner ice.

Jim Montgomery was left out in the cold Tuesday as the Bruins fired their head coach. The Bruins imploded at home against Columbus Monday night. Brad Marchand and Montgomery got into a shouting match as the local icemen trailed 5-1 after yielding a pair of short-handed goals.

Montgomery was 120-41-23 as a head coach. But at 8-9-3, the Bruins are on the playoff bubble. The quickest way for Cam Neely or Don Sweeney to join Montgomery on the unemployment line is to deny the Jacobs Family that coveted extra revenue from a few home playoff games.

The Bruins have company this “polar winter.”

The Patriots haven’t won a playoff game in 2,117 days. But who’s counting?

The Red Sox have put a patent on mediocrity since their financial seismic shift 5 winters ago. Boston is 359-360 (.499) in the 719 games the team has played since the Great Mookie Betts Salary Dump of 2020.

Only the Celtics inhabit Krypton – immune to the threats of mere mortals. Krypton has 2 suns. One for Jayson Tatum. And one for Jaylen Brown.

Of the local teams back here on earth, which one is furthest from the dawn?

Which is furthest away from contention?

That question offers three different answers, depending on what one values and how one sees the competition.

Is it the Red Sox? Well, we’re being asked to believe that this offseason marks a turning point – perhaps a winter solstice – in terms of ownership’s pernicious behavior.

The Red Sox chatted with Juan Soto the other day. That triggered a thrill up the leg of Red Sox State Run Media not seen since its last paid-in-full junket to David Ortiz’s charity golf tournament. This week, Big Papi & Friends will be raising buckets of cash for the David Ortiz Charity Fund at their event in Marco Island, Florida. Good luck to all involved.

The Masters of Mediocrity on Jersey Street should not be given credit for trying to sign Soto. They may hang NBA Cup Banners in Los Angeles. Or hoist Western Conference Championships banners in Dallas.

But not even the Red Sox would drop a “We Made Juan Soto A Competitive Offer” banner on opening day.

Right?

Otherwise, the Ghost of Larry Lucchino would haunt John and Linda’s descendants for the next 15 generations.

Bill Belichick told us: “Do your job.” Yoda taught a young Luke Skywalker: “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Despite the drooling across John Henry’s media properties and Red Sox rights holding outlets, we learned Tuesday via New York Post’s columnist Jon Heyman that there were no offers made to Soto by anyone last week. Rather these were deemed “getting acquainted sessions.”

Is “Getting Acquainted” the new “Full Throttle?”

In spite of themselves, the Red Sox are only 2 wins a month out of being a playoff team – or at the least a “wild card” contender. That may be more difficult with Nick Pivetta opting for free-agency. Or not.

Speaking of superheroes, Drake Maye has made the Patriots relevant, or at least watchable again. Maye may be too good for this franchise in its current state. The coaching staff doesn’t know how to use him. Management failed to develop the pieces around him. And ownership let it all happen.

And the Patriots have the most important element necessary for contention in the NFL: a quality quarterback.

The missing pieces in Foxboro can be had without tanking or lofty draft picks.

Robert Kraft and Henry are just a few zeroes away from fielding competitive teams. And one competent NFL head coach.

Both owners will have to shift priorities. Translation: spend money. A return to contention is within reach for both. It’s right there in the wallet.

Unlike the Red Sox or Patriots, the Bruins have yet to bottom out in their current cycle.

They’re still on the downslide of the NHL’s bell curve. A slide that began in Game 7 of the 2019 Stanley Cup Finals.

Boston keeps hitting rock-bottom. Game 7 against the Blues. “The Best Team Ever” losing 3 straight to Panthers in 2023. Bruce Cassidy winning a Stanley Cup in Las Vegas. Another home loss to exit the playoffs in 2024. A trio of embarrassing defeats to Dallas, St. Louis, and Columbus in the past week. Montgomery fired.

This season, the Bruins are last in the NHL in scoring on the power play, 31st in the NHL in goals per game, 28th in goals allowed per game, 25th in the NHL on the penalty kill, and first in penalties taken.

The Bruins aren’t as bad as these numbers indicate. Their biggest weaknesses – penalties, ineffective power play production, overall lethargy – can be fixed without new players. A coaching change may be the cure.

But don’t expect the sun to shine on this team before it’s visible again in Utqiagvik.

Or thereafter.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos on X) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.