Dear Abby: I’m a married professional woman with three kids, a demanding job and responsibility for my aging parents. I don’t have a lot of downtime. Really, there isn’t ANY downtime. I’m barely balancing the things on my plate and caring for my family.

Other than them, I have few people I’m close with because I don’t have the time or capacity to do more. I know I can be the bad friend who asks for more help than I can give, and I’m working on being better.

We have a new neighbor I like very much who has been trying very hard to make friends. She’s invited me out twice and stopped by to chat several times, but I’m always busy. It would be lovely to have a friend in the neighborhood, but I truly can’t make time for anyone else.

The next free evening I have is five weeks from now, and then only if I can find a babysitter. Is there a way to say to someone, “I’d love to be friends — in two years when things slow down”? — Overextended in Massachusetts

Dear Overextended: If you can pause long enough for a 10-minute conversation with this woman, explain it to her as you have to me. Tell her you like her very much, but your schedule is so crammed right now that the first opportunity you have to get together is five weeks from now IF you can secure a babysitter. That way she won’t feel personally rejected.

Dear Abby: I moved to a smaller city from a larger one seven years ago. There are fewer businesses here. I often struggle to get home repairs done because people here operate on “regional time,” meaning they get to stuff when they feel like it, if they feel like doing it at all.
Some of my home repairs had to wait nine to 12 months, in spite of weekly or biweekly follow-ups to check the status of repairs and parts. Often, I receive no response to my inquiries. What they call regional time, I call rude, inconsiderate and a waste of the time I must spend following up.

It’s not like I can take my business elsewhere, because they realize they are the only business in town that can do the needed repairs. I have tried things like buying them lunch when they show up in a reasonable amount of time to thank them for their “outstanding” service, but it seems to have no effect on improving service in the future. Any thoughts on how to light a fire under their backsides? — Prompt in Canada

Dear Prompt:  You might offer these tradespeople a generous gratuity if they show up in a reasonable amount of time and do a satisfactory job. Other than this, my only suggestion would be, in light of the emotional cost of dealing with these issues in a small community, to consider returning to the big city.

TO MY READERS: I wish you all a joyous, meaningful, healthy and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone! — LOVE, ABBY

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com