Nothing says Minnesota like brush strokes of color on a blank canvas, like a sample card at the paint store. A star is helpful. All three finalists in the contest to become the new state flag feature a star, the North Star.

The design chosen Friday contains white, green and blue horizontal stripes and a navy blue section that, if prompted, can be believed to resemble a map of Minnesota.

The proposed flags are mindful of bobbleheads. Sports teams sometimes give away bobbleheads of players as a promotional attraction. I think the teams order a couple of crates of bobbleheads from some outfit in China and when they unpack the crate, they decide who the bobblehead most looks like.

The state’s Emblems Redesign Commission does the same thing, assigning meaning to colors and lines and curls and stars, meanings as obtuse as a Winter Carnival Treasure Hunt clue. The star in the leading flag, for example, is to suggest unity in a diverse land.

It does? How?

Somebody has to say it. We can’t all be mind-numbed. This is merely another insidious cleansing of history only to be replaced by unicorns and balloons.

I believe we are to understand that the flag doesn’t mean anything anyway, so don’t worry about it. And truth be told, before the competition for a new flag began, most of us didn’t give the state flag much thought. It shows a farmer and an Indian on horseback. The Indian is not riding west, as though away. He is riding south. A small point but important to note for the dark souls among us who have themselves seeing genocidal implications in an otherwise peaceful and charming 19th-century tableau.

The idea that the new flag — it doesn’t make any difference which one was picked; they are all the same — suggests a unifying theme is only wishful thinking. Strong arguments can be made that this state has never been more splintered, almost unrecognizable. We are led by only one party and they are irresponsibly putting us in a dangerous financial hole, taxing us too much and then gobbling up the surpluses with no regard to long-term consequences.

The Legislature is planning renovations and upgrades to the State Office Building that most likely will cost a billion dollars before they are done.

Under only one party leading us, both Minneapolis and St. Paul downtowns are glum and often unsafe. Light rail remains a boondoggle. Minneapolis doesn’t have enough police officers. The justice system treats criminals with but a light hand. Kids in the public schools can’t read at grade level.

We can’t even keep the streetlights on because thieves keep stealing the copper wires …

Hold it. I’m getting word from the city desk that I’m being too negative and I better knock it off. Probably so. Christmas is upon us, the weather has been beautiful and the Timberwolves are in first place!

I can do better than that. Given the impossibility of creating a flag that accurately captures the real condition of the state, whichever submission won the contest is the right one.

In fact, it will be perfect.

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Joe Soucheray can be reached at jsoucheray@pioneerpress.com. Soucheray’s “Garage Logic” podcast can be heard at garagelogic.com.