
The Loop NFL Picks: Week 12
Bears at Vikings (-3½)
Vikings star receiver Justin Jefferson stunned some of his most loyal supporters by claiming that his health is more important than fantasy football. It’s the surest sign yet that the injured player has been possessed by evil demons and might burn in the fiery pits of Hell.
Pick: Vikings by 3
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA – SEPTEMBER 14: Justin Jefferson #18 of the Minnesota Vikings fumbles the ball over the pylon for a touchback as he is tackled by Terrell Edmunds #26 of the Philadelphia Eagles during the second quarter at Lincoln Financial Field on September 14, 2023 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)
Browns at Broncos (-2½)
Denver safety Kareem Jackson has been suspended four games for his vicious helmet-to-helmet hit on Minnesota’s Josh Dobbs. The blow was so violent and damaging that the Vikings’ QB instantly reverted to being the old Josh Dobbs.
Pick: Browns by 3
DENVER, COLORADO – NOVEMBER 19: Quarterback Joshua Dobbs #15 of the Minnesota Vikings fumbles the football after being hit by safety Kareem Jackson #22 of the Denver Broncos during the first quarter of the NFL game at Empower Field At Mile High on November 19, 2023 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)
Buccaneers at Colts (-2½)
Colts owner Jim Irasy caused a stir by saying he was arrested for drunken driving in 2014 only because he is “a rich white billionaire.” Irsay will no doubt walk back his inflammatory comments later this month if he sobers up.
Pick: Buccaneers by 3
INDIANAPOLIS – JANUARY 24: Jim Irsay Owner of the Indianapolis Colts celebrates their 30-17 victory of the New York Jets during the Lamar Hunt Trophy presentation after the AFC Championship Game at Lucas Oil Stadium on January 24, 2010 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Bills at Eagles (-3½)
Philadelphia gained a small dollop of revenge for its Super Bowl LVII loss by beating the Chiefs in Kansas City on Monday night. The Eagles knew they had a great chance to knock off the champs when they learned that Taylor Swift was still in Brazil.
Pick: Eagles by 7
The Kansas City Chiefs can’t stop a first down by Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts (1), in the center of the pile, during a “tush push” in the second half of an NFL football game, Monday, Nov. 20, 2023 in Kansas City, Mo. (AP Photo/Reed Hoffmann)
Chiefs at Raiders (+9½)
Patrick Mahomes was betrayed by his pass non-catchers in the Chiefs’ loss to Philly as they dropped five very catchable passes. The K.C. receivers endured a level of embarrassment usually experienced only by Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving.
Pick: Chiefs by 10
KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI – NOVEMBER 20: Marquez Valdes-Scantling #11 of the Kansas City Chiefs drops a pass late in the fourth quarter against the Philadelphia Eagles at GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium on November 20, 2023 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
Ravens at Chargers (+4½)
Chargers coach Brandon Staley snapped at one of the beat reporters after their latest loss in Green Bay. The journalist took it all in stride knowing that, of the two of them, he was the only one who will still have a job at the end of the year.
Pick: Ravens by 7
Los Angeles Chargers head coach Brandon Staley speaks to reporters following an NFL football game against the Green Bay Packers, Sunday, Nov. 19, 2023, in Green Bay, Wis. The Packers won 23-20. (AP Photo/Matt Ludtke)
Patriots at Giants (+2½)
The Giants’ home, MetLife Stadium, was voted the worst place to play in the league in a survey of NFL players. Meanwhile, the worst place to be in the NFL, for the umpteenth year in a row, is under Bill Belichick’s glare.
Pick: Giants by 3
ATLANTA GA. – JANUARY 28: Head coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots takes question at Super Bowl LIII Opening Night at State Farm Arena on January 28, 2019 in Atlanta, GA. (Staff Photo By Nancy Lane/MediaNews Group/Boston Herald)
Saints at Falcons (-1½)
Former New Orleans quarterback Drew Brees says he now can only throw left-handed because of damage to his passing shoulder. Despite that handicap, Brees would still be an infinitely better backup QB option for the Saints than Jameis Winston.
Pick: Falcons by 3
NEW YORK, NEW YORK – NOVEMBER 21: Drew Brees and John McEnroe debut the new OWL Pickleball Paddle on November 21, 2023 in New York City. (Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for OWL Sport)
Steelers at Bengals (+1½)
Pittsburgh coach Mike Tomlin finally gave in to the angry hordes and fired embattled offensive coordinator Matt Canada. This brings a merciful end to the ungodly excess of lame “Blame Canada” puns throughout Western Pennsylvania.
Pick: Bengals by 3
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – SEPTEMBER 24: Offensive coordinator Matt Canada looks on during warm-ups before a game against the Las Vegas Raiders at Allegiant Stadium on September 24, 2023 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Chris Unger/Getty Images)
Other games
Jaguars at Texans (even):
Pick: Texans by 3
Panthers at Titans (-3½):
Pick: Titans by 7
Rams at Cardinals (even):
Pick: Cardinals by 3
CINCINNATI, OHIO – NOVEMBER 12: C.J. Stroud #7 of the Houston Texans runs for a touchdown during the fourth quarter against the Cincinnati Bengals at Paycor Stadium on November 12, 2023 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images)
Record
Week 11
9-5 straight up
9-5 vs. spread
Season
101-63 straight up (.616)
86-78 vs. spread (.524)
You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow. He can be reached at kcusick@pioneerpress.com.
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