“Kane”

Rated R. On VOD. Grade C+

How would you like an Australian grind-house-type, throwback gangster movie shot in Brisbane, Queensland and featuring several members of the cast of the long-running Aussie soap opera “Home and Away” aka “H&A?” Sounds tasty, right, mate? Well, in execution, not quite.

Written and directed by Blair Moore, whose only previous credit is a short entitled “Canadian Psycho,” “Kane” tells the neo-Raymond Chandler-esque tale of a gangster named Abe (Jeremy Lindsay Taylor, TV’s “Home and Away”). Abe lives with his loving wife (Holly Brisley, TV’s “Home and Away”) and preteen daughter. In the morning, Abe is picked up by his trusted driver Benny (Clayton Watson, TV’s “Home and Away”), who also narrates the film. The trouble for Benny (and others we presume) is that Abe suffers from DID (aka dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder). One of Abe’s other personalities is a brilliant financial fixer and money launderer named Richard (Martin Dingle Wall, TV’s “Home and Away”), who enjoys a seemingly idyllic marriage with his pregnant wife Pam (Tammin Sursok, TV’s “Pretty Little Liars”). Another of Abe’s personalities is a big bruiser named Kane (Jake Ryan, TV’s “Home and Away”), an unstoppable, heartless assassin. Abe handles the north side racket. His rival is Frankie (Nathan Phillips), the violent, hot-tempered head of the south side. The action begins when Benny is being interrogated at a police station. Apparently, a shootout has occurred at the Lucky Saints bar. We then restart on the morning of the shootout.

A noteworthy thing about the screenplay is that Abe’s “other personalities” are presented as other people played by other actors. While this doesn’t make a heck of a lot of sense, you find yourself going with it. What you might not ”go with” is that Abe and Benny spend a lot of time driving around in Abe’s souped-up Mustang with vanity license plates reading, “Catch-22.” Kane rides a “hog”-like motorcycle and sees ghosts, presumably of people he has killed. They talk to him. Richard has a mistress he has nicknamed “Lollipop.” He gets into his hot car to meet with her. His wife Pam gets into another car to follow him. Meanwhile, Benny and Abe run errands and are on the way to the Lucky Saints bar to meet with Frankie. We know where all this is headed, and frankly I’m getting car sick.

Writer-director Moore offers us a chessboard as a metaphor for life in opening scenes, not very original. Wouldn’t a road map have made more sense? Moore also has Abe accusing all of us a la Lady Gaga as being “monsters.”

Why is there an American flag draped across a wall of the Lucky Saints bar? Is this political commentary? When Abe repeatedly says, “Today is a good day to die,” I was hearing, “To die is a good die to die.” Was drunken Hamlet another one of his personalities? In the end, there is not enough meat on this bone of a gangster movie to chew on. “Home and Away” has launched the careers of such acting talents as Chris Hemsworth, Isla Fisher, Naomi Watts, Heath Ledger and Guy Pearce. I don’t think “Kane” is going to launch anything.

(“Kane” contains extreme violence and profanity)