For years, Dustin Pedroia has tried in vain to convince the world that he was “at peace” with how his playing career ended.

But before his Red Sox Hall of Fame induction at Fenway Park on Wednesday, he spent hours on his beloved diamond, hitting grounders to his youngest son, whom he said plays second base, too, and has a swing just like his. Sitting in one of the ballpark suites overlooking the emerald expanse, Pedroia admitted he feels differently.

“I’ve never gotten over it, to be honest,” he said. “I just, company-line kind of deal. I mean, every day I want to play, and that’s never gonna change.”

“It’s hard,” Pedroia added. “You guys saw me, I loved it. I was here before anybody, so to have it taken away from you sucks.”

The beloved Red Sox second baseman was one of the club’s ultimate ‘Dirt Dogs,’ which made it all the more unfair when the last few seasons of his 14-year Major League career – the entirety of which he spent in Boston – were full of pain, procedures, and setbacks, too much time in the dugout instead of on the diamond he loved so much, and worst of all, prematurely and by someone else’s hand.

Or rather, foot.

Pedroia was 33 and still one of the best in the game in April 2017, when third baseman Manny Machado came up high on a slide during an April 2017 game with the Baltimore Orioles. Machado’s spikes viciously collided with Pedroia’s calf and his leg buckled.

It wasn’t the first time Machado had engaged in questionable tactics, nor would it be the last,  but Pedroia still managed to play 105 games that season. He waited until late October to undergo a complete knee cartilage restoration; he was, after all, the same player who’d injured his UCL on Opening Day 2013 and played through pain until after the Red Sox won the World Series. (He was also an All-Star and won his third Gold Glove award that year.)

In 2018, Pedroia watched as his teammates won a franchise-record 108 regular-season games and their fourth championship in 15 years. Stuck in the dugout for all but three of their contests, he found other ways to contribute to their success.

“Honestly, that year I got some hard news from a lot of doctors that was like, life-changing, but I had a blast helping guys, and seeing guys thrive in their role, and kind of pushing guys,” he said. “I mean, even some pitchers, ‘cuz hell, I had enough time on my hands that I could watch video and help our guys look at how to attack… It was fun, but obviously I’d rather be playing.”

But over ‘18 and ‘19, he only played nine games, and they turned out to be his last. After another setback in 2020, he announced his retirement on Feb. 1, 2021. He’d played through pain for so long, and the tank was finally empty.

Pedroia is thinking about the untimely end more these days, as he prepares for his first Baseball Hall of Fame ballot. He knows the fact that his career essentially spanned 11 years – he played 31 games as a rookie in ‘06, and nine between ‘18-19 – hurts his Cooperstown chances.

Eternally the consummate team player, he doesn’t regret prioritizing collective goals. Nor does he regret turning down job offers to be a present father for his three sons.

“As hard as I can for as long as I can,” he said of how he played. “Could I have taken days off and done that and then played three, four more years and hit .280 with 10 home runs and 30 doubles and been in the Hall of Fame? Sure. But my team would’ve suffered for me doing that. My leadership wouldn’t have been what it was, so. My end goal was to win, and that’s it.”

Pedroia isn’t sure what it takes to become a Hall of Famer, or how a player becomes one, in the literal sense. He still avoids social media like the plague, and said he wasn’t even sure how the voting process works or how to track his progress as the ballots roll in next winter.

“I don’t know what a Hall of Famer is, ‘cuz I’ve played against guys that were in the Hall of Fame, my team beat their ass, do you know what I mean? So I don’t know, I just know that we were trying to win,” he laughed.

“You know me, I don’t get online much,” he said. “I just played as hard as I could and won a lot of games, and I think I won every award…I respect the game so much, I mean, anybody who votes for me, I’ll be appreciative.”

Even so, Pedroia knows his numerous personal achievements – 2007 AL Rookie of the Year, 2008 AL MVP, four All-Star seasons, four Gold Gloves, a Silver Slugger, multiple World Series rings – are rare and impressive.

“How many guys you know did what I did at second base? Is there any? Has anybody won Rookie of the Year and MVP and three championships?” He asked. Told there aren’t many infielders with trophy cases as full as his, he exclaimed, “Oh (expletive)! Look at that promotion.”

“I don’t know what the criteria is, I just know I did what I could,” Pedroia reiterated.

That would be everything, until he had nothing left.