Remember your old high-school or college yearbook?

It commemorated all the wonderful events of the school year — mugshots of the graduating class, photos of memorable moments in sports, extracurricular activities, etc.

Post-graduation, some schools even published monthly or quarterly magazines, to keep alumni informed about recent happenings on campus as well as exhorting the trust-funded swells to fund the latest academic fads like DEI, anti-Semitic riots and genital mutilations of children at their “teaching” hospitals.

Now mostly online, the magazines are just a way to stay in touch with the alumni. Kind of like the way I use the federal government’s Bureau of Prisons website to keep tabs on the justice-involved community, as Gov. Maura Healey likes to describe where she recruits her top coat holders like LaMar Cook.

Perusing BOP.gov the other day, it occurred to me that the Mass. State Police need both a yearbook and a monthly magazine, so that the troopers on the job — the unindicted co-conspirators, as it were — can keep up with those who have gone before them.

To the Big House.

Checking out BOP.gov for a minute or so, I found seven ex-troopers whose records were listed on the BOP’s “inmate locator.” No photos, but as you can see, the pictures can be added easily.

And these seven crooked cops are just the tip of the MSP jailbird iceberg. You have crooked cops who are awaiting, say, “resentencing,” like the 300-pound ex-union boss Dana Pullman.

Then there’s the defunct street crew known as Troop E. At least dozen or so of them pleaded guilty to embezzling hundreds of thousands in federal OT money.

But almost all were sentenced to “home detention” or “time served” — for the hour or so when they were being driven from their suburban mansions to the federal courthouse for their initial post-arrest appearances.

Thus, no mention on BOP.gov. It’s like they dropped out before graduation — into Club Fed.

So the BOP.gov website has in fact already turned out many of the “graduation” profiles a new MSP yearbook could use.

Usually yearbooks have action photos of athletic events. For the MSP, boxing is out, obviously. Ditto football, although their yearbook could include photos of troopers eluding not tacklers, but media cameramen trying to get their photos after their arrests.

All broken-field running for the State Police now takes place not at Gillette Stadium, but on Northern Avenue in Southie, outside the courthouse.

In the back of yearbooks, “friends” buy full- or half-page ads, to subsidize the costs. The MSP yearbook’s ad section could be sold out within hours, just to the lawyers who represent state troopers when the end comes, as it invariably must.

David Yannetti, Marty Weinberg, Lenny Kesten, Dan Moynihan — can I put each of you guys down for a full page? First one to sign up gets to use the slogan “Reasonable Doubt at a Reasonable Price.”

Next I’m thinking about the monthly magazine for the troopers. Working title: To Protect and Steal.

This magazine would be invaluable for allowing the troopers to keep up with breaking news on the job. It used to be just arrests, made by troopers, on bad guys.

Now, chances are better than even that it’s the troopers themselves getting lugged, because, as the title of the famous book says, “The Cops Are Robbers.”

And court arraignments are just the smallest part of a crooked trooper’s life.

Retirement board hearings for their phony disabilities, appeals of pension revocations after conviction, disciplinary hearings before Internal Affairs, and now maybe the POST Commission trying to decertify them just because they took a bribe or stole some drugs or beat up their side piece.

Not to mention having to fend off the inevitable subpoenas to the federal grand jury involving murder frame-ups — at least if you’re in Norfolk County.

Some society magazines used to have social calendars, and To Protect and Steal will certainly need one of those. A list of the upcoming politicians’ times to which troopers (especially SPAM board officials) are expected to attend — Save the Date! To Save the Job!

How about a gossip column? I got one for ‘em. Remember Yuri Buhkenik, Michael Proctor’s BFF? He was thrown out of the Norfolk County DA’s office after the second failed attempt to lynch Karen Read.

Ever since, the brass has been promising to transfer him to somewhere like Siberia. Instead they’ve just been pampering him. Here’s the latest official statement: “He is temporarily assigned to the Division of Standards and Training in an administrative role.”

Administrative role? For that thug who speaks pidgin English? What a joke.

Here’s a folo for the gossip column: Yuri’s brother Bo was just sworn in as a Falmouth town cop last week. What a break for Jill Daniels, one of the McAlberts in Canton. Remember when she ingested a bad ice cube at the Shipwrecked down in Falmouth and the cops wouldn’t cut her any slack?

Well, the next time what made Milwaukee famous makes a loser of Jill, she’ll have Officer Bukhenik on speed dial in Falmouth…

Before magazines died, many had cornball humor columns, like Readers’ Digest’s “Life in These United States.”

The State Police magazine already has a crew of freelance humorists hard at work. They comment endlessly on every Facebook posting the MSP makes. The staties can just reprint the citizens’ droll observations, like when they announce the next round of drunk-driving roadblocks.

To which the civilians responded:

“How about we do sobriety tests at your barracks?”

“Just follow the McAlberts, that’ll keep you busy.”

“They should do Norfolk County and they’ll get their quota the first hour.”

As a workplace magazine, To Protect and Steal would list all the continuing-education courses available to the troopers at the academy in New Braintree.

How to Avoid Getting Caught Shoplifting Golf Balls at Target.

How to Secure Your Firearm in an Unmarked Cruiser so that Gangbangers Won’t Steal It While You’re Grabbing a Little Extra Upstairs in Downtown Providence.

How to Avoid Killing Someone on a Motorcycle While Driving Drunk. (This would be taught by ex-Trooper Kristopher Carr, no relation, who’s currently doing a bid at the South Bay House of Correction — the yearbook will need a separate section for those troopers doing state, rather than federal time).

Order Howie’s new book, “Mass Corruption: Vol. 1: The Cops,” at amazon.com or howiecarrshow.com/store.