Governors, like kids, say the darnedest things, at least if they’re Gov. Maura Healey.

Down through the years, she’s made any number of bizarre, often contradictory statements. Let’s round up some of them, into a holiday version of Maura’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 1.

We begin with her currently newsworthy comments about natural-gas pipelines from 2022 and 2025.

When was she lying, then or now? You be the judge.

In 2022, bragging on National Panhandler Radio: “Remember, I stopped two gas pipelines from coming into this state…. I also went to the Supreme Judicial Court to make sure that obsolete, soon-to-be-obsolete, pipeline infrastructure wasn’t gonna be built on the backs of our ratepayers.”

In 2025, asked about the above statement: “First of all, I didn’t do that.”

This year, she has yet another position on pipelines, blaming Donald Trump: “Get rid of the tariffs on aluminum and steel because the aluminum and steel that we need to build out our energy infrastructure here, to bring more energy in, now costs a lot more to build out.”

In 2024, asked about the rape of a disabled underage girl by an illegal-alien Haitian in one of her Healey hotels: “It is unfortunate that from time to time, things will happen.”

How to prevent even more rapes by those illegal aliens that she welcomed into Massachusetts: “Last spring I ordered the unprecedented step to have CORI criminal background checks conducted on all shelter residents across the entire system.”

What happened with Maura’s unprecedented step: “I was recently informed by my team that did not happen at all sites and that is absolutely unacceptable.”

In April 2016, when women at a State House hearing complained about having to share restrooms with males, Healey responded, “To them, I say if you’ve got that much of a problem, ‘Hold it!’”

In June 2020, as roving bands of BLM thugs looted cities across the nation, Healey told the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce, “Yes, America is burning, but that’s how forests grow.”

In November 2023, on her appointment of Monica Tibbets-Nutt as the state’s secretary of transportation: “(She) is a proven leader who has done important work at MASS DOT over the past year… (She) is the right person to lead the hard-working team at MASS DOT.”

In October 2025, after the $900-million Plazagate scandal on the Mass Pike, Healey issued a very brief press release about her pal: “(She) has made the decision to step down from her positions.”

In 2024, after the overthrow of Dementia Joe Biden: “The future of our country is on the line. That’s why I’m thrilled to support Kamala Harris.”

And on scandal-scarred MN Gov. Tim Walz: “He’s the real deal, you know. He’s the coach you want to play for. He’s the colleague you want to serve with. He’s the guy you want in the bunker. I mean, he’s just a really special person.”

In 2023, on criticism of her appointment of her jilted much older former live-in gal pal, Gabrielle Wolohojian, to the Supreme Judicial Court: “I don’t want the fact that she had a personal relationship with me to deprive the Commonwealth of a person who’s most qualified for the position.”

After the arrest of her top aide, LaMar Cook, a career criminal who allegedly shipped eight pounds of cocaine to her office suite in Springfield: “That individual underwent a complete background check.”

She now refuses to release Cook’s “complete background check.”

In 2022, Maura endorsed corrupt Democrat Suffolk County sheriff Steve Tompkins for reelection, calling him “a strong partner in the push for a more equitable criminal justice system.”

In 2025, after Tompkins’ indictment on federal corruption charges, Healey declined to call for his resignation, saying, “I need to know more about this. I need to get more information.”

In September 2021, Maura endorsed crooked Suffolk County DA Rachael Rollins for US attorney, saying she “brings a valuable perspective and commitment to reforming a criminal justice system.”

In May 2023, Rollins was forced to resign after a string of corrupt acts. Healey had no comment.

In November 2024, asked on MSDNC if she would support Trump’s efforts to rid Massachusetts of its huge population of illegal-alien criminals, Healey replied, “Absolutely not.”

In May 2025, asked about Trump’s shutdown of the southern border, Healey said, “Some of what Trump has done makes a lot of sense.”

Statement on the kind of “renewable” energy the state needs: “What does Massachusetts have? We have the Saudi Arabia of wind right off our shores. We’ve got some of it churning already.”

After one of her beloved wind-turbine blades fell into Nantucket Sound in July 2024 and caused great pollution to churn up on local beaches: “Obviously something went wrong. There was a problem. We need to understand that.”

In April 2016, when then-AG Maura Healey’s office was running the investigation of corrupt drug-lab chemist Sonja Farak, her office’s probe itself became such a scandal that Healey filed a “Motion to Impound Grand Jury Materials and Report” on Farak’s crimes.

Then Maura filed a second motion to “impound its request for its Motion for Order of Non-Dissemination of Information.”

In other words, it was a cover-up of a cover-up — think of it as a dress rehearsal for Maura’s more recent Lamar Cook cover-up.

In 2024, on the Supreme Court decision to allow school athletes to pray before kickoff: “The football field is for playing, not for forcing religion on children.”

On the COVID scam of 2020-21: “I certainly am grateful for my opportunity to wear a mask during COVID.”

Can we quote you on that, Governor?

Before long, it will be time for Maura’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 2.

Until then, you’ll just have to, to coin a phrase, Hold it!

(Order Howie’s new book, “Mass Corruption: Vol. 1, The Cops” at amazon.com or howiecarrshow.com/store.)