As a dating coach, I often get questions about the first date — the length, the venue, the method of parting … you name it.

Q: So I’ve been texting back and forth with this girl for a while now, and we’re finally getting to meet this Thursday. Can you give me some first-date advice for meeting someone online? In the past first dates I’ve had, we talked about our experiences with OkCupid and Hinge (like how many people we’ve met, bad/good experiences, etc.). Do you think that’s something that shouldn’t be brought up? Is there a certain length I should keep the date to, or does it depend on how well the date is going? – Jason, 29, New York

A: If you’re meeting someone for the first time from an online dating site, it should just be for drinks or coffee … something casual to get to know each other. As for the length, it’s usually about an hour. If you’re having a good time, though, obviously you’ll want to stay longer and perhaps order some food.

In terms of what to talk about, I wouldn’t lead with the question of how online dating is going, unless it’s under the guise of how well this date is going compared to others, accompanied by a funny story. Asking this question usually leads to negativity and complaining about both the dating apps and the people themselves, which doesn’t bode well for making a positive connection.

Just be yourself and be natural, and the conversation should flow. It’s most important to talk about your hobbies and things you like to do to see if you have any of the same interests. The first date is kind of like a screener to see if you want to take her out again, so keep the conversation light and fun.

Q: I’m doing all right with dating — just at the moment wondering the value of spending the time and money on a second date if I wasn’t blown away on the first date. Thoughts? – Gary, 34, Arlington, Virginia

A:  I’d say that it depends.

If you think there might be some connection, but you have to get to know her better, it’s definitely worth the second date. If she is definitely not what you’re looking for because of a few things — she was rude, you thought she was unattractive, you had clashing views on something important — obviously, it’s not worth it.

Tribune News Service