The first week of October 2023 should’ve been one of the best of Baltimore Orioles pitcher Dean Kremer’s life.

The O’s were in the postseason for the first time since 2016. Kremer, then 27, had made a career-high 32 starts in the regular season. He’d closed on a house the week before.

But in the early (Eastern Standard Time) hours of Saturday, October 7 – hours after the Orioles’ first postseason game – Hamas, the terrorist organization that has controlled neighboring Gaza for over a decade, invaded southern Israel. Hamas massacred over 1,000 innocent civilians that day, and took over 300 hostages – many of them citizens of other countries, including the U.S. – back to Gaza, which they’ve controlled for over a decade. To date, over 100 hostages remain in Gaza.

For Kremer, the first Israeli player ever drafted by a Major League team, the dream he’d been living was suddenly a waking nightmare. And amidst the chaos and grief, the Orioles had to play that night, and he was days away from his first career postseason start.

“I just kept my head down, sat in the dugout with my hood on,” Kremer told the Herald at Fenway Park on Tuesday. “Then I pitched Monday.”

Kremer couldn’t make it out of the second inning, and the Texas Rangers swept the Orioles out of the playoffs. It was painful, but nothing compared to what he was already feeling. A dual Israel-American citizen – he was born in California but his parents are both from Israel – Kremer often spends at least a month out of each year in Israel. His grandparents lived there, and his two younger brothers served in the Israeli military. He grew up speaking Hebrew at home.

“It’s always present,” Kremer said of October 7.

The vast majority of Israel- and Jewish-related interactions Kremer has had over his professional career have been positive, he said. However, he also acknowledged that he tries to spend as little time on social media as possible.

“Honestly, I haven’t experienced much antisemitism (in clubhouses),” he said. “I’m fortunate to play in a city that has a lot of Jews, Baltimore, so I’ve been very welcomed there. The only time I’ve only gotten maybe a couple antisemitic (direct messages), it’s from people that gamble and, they have no profile pic or name.”

Kremer’s Orioles teammates were supportive from the beginning, and for that, he’s immensely grateful.

“After October 7, we talked about it. I had a number of guys come up and ask me about it, what’s going on, what I know,” he said. “And then over the course of this year, I’ve had interest from a handful of guys here that’ll ask. But mostly everybody just asked, is your family OK? How’s your family doing? Stuff like that.”

When teammates have questions, Kremer is always happy to answer. He’s been pleasantly surprised to find out that some of them wanted to gain a deeper understanding of the situation.

“I kind of give some base knowledge as to what’s going on and how things have transpired, but I always leave it open, like if you want to know more, I’d be more than happy to share with you,” he said. “I’ve had a handful of guys that have wanted to know more.”

Even so, it’s difficult for someone on the outside to truly understand. Sharing an MLB clubhouse with a fellow Jewish ballplayer is extremely rare, though; fewer than 200 of the 23,352 players in MLB history have identified as Jewish. That’s why Kremer welcomes any opportunity to spend time among fellow Jewish ballplayers, be it on Team Israel in the World Baseball Classic or the Maccabiah Games.

“Whenever they put together one of those teams, we all show up kind of knowing about each other, but maybe not knowing each other, and it’s like an instant bond,” Kremer said.

It’s now been over 11 months since Hamas committed the deadliest attack on Jewish people since the Holocaust. The war Hamas provoked is far from over, and antisemitism has skyrocketed around the globe. As he prepared for spring training last winter, an apprehensive Kremer realized that this baseball season was going to be different.

“I was definitely worried going into this year, at the beginning, because I’m in the public eye and people know where we are at all times, people know where we stay. The stadiums are fairly safe, but when we leave the stadiums weird people can follow you home,” he explained. “My family and I, we talked about how, ‘Make sure your eyes are open.’ That’s how we were raised. My dad and my mom did a good job of making sure we’re always aware of our surroundings. And I had conversations with our (Orioles) security guys, and they’re aware.”

At work, Kremer’s gold Magen David (Star of David) necklace continues to hang over his Orioles apparel. In the rest of the world, however, he’s become more careful.

“If we’re outside the stadium, I never have my star out,” he said matter-of-factly. “It’s always under my shirt.”

It’s painful, tucking that little gold star away from the world, and with it, his identity. He doesn’t like feeling like he’s hiding who he is.

“It’s a part of me,” Kremer said. “But you can never be too safe.”