Save the date!

It’s THE event of the summer in the Norfolk County hackerama — District Attorney Michael “Meatball” Morrissey’s gala fundraiser Thursday evening, from 5:30 to 8 at the Tirrell Room, a banquet hall on Quarry Street in Quincy.

Be there or be square, if you’re a corrupt payroll patriot.

And all you hacks should remember to wave as you waddle or stagger inside, no matter how much of a foreign load you’re carrying.

And don’t be nodding just at the pink-clad Free Karen Read protesters who will surely be gathered outside.

Make sure you also give a good old-fashioned Canton salute to any FBI camera crews who may be videotaping the sit-down like it’s the Mafia wedding in “The Godfather.”

Meatball has had one of these summer events for years, but this one is different. Last year’s was billed as “not a fundraiser.” This one is specifically a money grab — $35, $100 and $250.

The location has also been moved. The previous venue was the Adams Inn on Hancock Street in North Quincy, just off the Expressway. Way too… accessible. The Tirrell is more easily defensible, shall we say.

Also, the Tirrell Room’s website specifically mentions that it’s available for “bereavement… during a stressful time.”

And this is surely a most stressful time for Meatball Morrissey, the obese 70-year-old career hack who now can be accurately described with that journalistic cliché, “embattled.”

Meatball just had to send out a humiliating letter to 13 defense attorneys in four different murder cases. Under law, he had to inform them of what they already knew, that one of his sleaziest State Police sleuths, Michael Proctor, has now been suspended without pay.

This disappointment occurred, the letter states, “after a prior proceeding,” which would be a federal grand jury that turned up material that is “subject to a judicially-signed federal court order.”

Also known as a search warrant, on Proctor’s personal cell phone.

Barney Frank used to say that a politician’s core constituency isn’t the people who are with you when you’re right, it’s the people who are with you when you’re wrong.

And that’s who will be heading to Meatball’s time Thursday night — the hacks he’s always shaken down for beaucoup Benjamins.

For instance, Adam Lally, the human rain delay, a lifer in Meatball’s wretched outfit. Chain-smoking Lally is the bust-out prosecutor still trying to try Karen Read for a second time on a murder charge she was acquitted of last month.

Over the past 15 years, Double-Jeopardy Lally has kicked back $1,750 to Meatball. He can be counted upon to do the right thing yet again.

Then there’s Sgt. Yuri Bukhenik, Proctor’s boss in Meatball’s office, who really, really liked that vile text message from Proctor about how he was searching for nudes on Karen Read’s phone. Yuri’s come through five times for Meatball, ponying up $600.

Yuri’s under investigation by the MSP’s internal affairs unit. So is another of Meatball’s crack sleuths, Lt. John Tully. When he’s not dodging the posse, Tully handed over $600 to his bloated boss.

Lt. John Fanning, who has at least temporarily prevailed in his own photo finish with the MSP corruption unit, has likewise done the right thing for Morrissey four times — for $350.

Give cash to Meatball, get investigated as a bent cop — coincidence?

Morrissey needs all this dough because he’s grooming the next generation of below-average clowns in office in Norfolk County.

Just two months ago, Meatball gave $100 to Walter Timilty, the sad-sack state senator who’s running against Clerk Robert Jubinville for clerk of Norfolk County.

Meatball sees Timilty as the perfect candidate for clerk of courts — Timilty has flunked the bar exam six times. In Morrissey’s world, that makes lame-brain Timilty almost as stellar a legal mind as Adam Lally.

For register of deeds, Meatball is ardently promoting Noel DiBona. Again, impeccable credentials — DiBona used to be a “landscaper.” He’s probably quite skilled at trimming shrubs, not so much at recording land transfers.

You can bet dim bulbs Timilty and DiBona will be genuflecting Thursday night before their role model, Meatball Morrissey.

What will the refreshments be? Meatball prefers a rum and coke, or three. The Canton crew will be going with their traditional Jameson-and-gingahs. Or maybe Fireballs straight up — Jailbird Chris Albert’s drink of choice when he’s springing for a last-call round at some local Canton bucket of blood.

These are desperate days in Meatball World. Everything is coming apart at the seams.

For years, the Lynch-Karen-Read crowd has cited as incontrovertible evidence of her guilt an early report from Channel 4 that claimed “investigators have video from a Ring doorbell camera.”

You know the old saying that a lie goes around the world in the morning while the truth is putting its pants on? That sums up WBZ-TV’s alleged scoop.

The local affiliate of See BS “News” has finally affixed a correction of sorts to their Very Fake News from February 2022:

“During the process of transcribing this story… inaccurate information appeared in the web script which stated: investigators have video of the incident from a Ring doorbell camera… The story has been corrected.”

It appears this “correction” ran last May, 27 months after they ran with the big lie. You know the motto at Channel 4:

When the news breaks, we fix it.

Meanwhile, in Canton, Ground Zero for Cop Corruption, another bent badge has just been taken off the board, sort of.

James Carnes, a crooked Boston cop, was sentenced in federal court to two years “supervised release” for stealing $20,106 from the city.

On the Canton cop unemployment line Carnes joins Trooper Proctor and Proctor’s fellow drunkard, suspended-with-pay Canton cop Kevin “Fat” Albert. Then there’s Fat’s brother Brian Albert, who retired from the BPD after fellow officer John O’Keefe was found dead on his front lawn.

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By the way, just after O’Keefe’s death, Albert was cleared in his own most recent BPD internal-affairs probe. That brooming occurred when the BPD superintendent-in-chief was one Greg Long, who also happens to reside in Copland, I mean Canton.

Long has since retired himself, but shed no tears for him. His bride, Gloriann Moroney, got a $207,000-a-year judgeship from Charlie Baker just before Baker retired due to ill health — the voters got sick of him.

In an amazing coincidence, Mrs. Long got her black robes after Superintendent-in-Chief Long handed $1450 to Baker.

Another nationwide search… in Canton!

See you Thursday evening at the Tirrell Room.

If you get lost, just follow the broken pieces of red tail light to Meatball’s time.

Order Howie’s new book, “Paper Boy: Read All About It!” at amazon.com or howiecarrshow.com.