How did you always know when The Washington Post was printing up another batch of Very Fake News?

When their presses were running.

And so farewell then, for all practical purposes, to what was once one of the nation’s leading purveyors of pernicious Democrat agitprop.

Last week, billionaire owner Jeff Bezos lowered the boom on 300 Democrat fluffers in his newsroom. About half were trust-funded legacies, the other half DEI hires.

Not affected at all by the layoffs were any men — er, make that cisgendered non-birthing persons, to use Post-speak — who can either change a flat tire, tap a keg or recite a good Act of Contrition.

The Post hasn’t hired anybody like that since… forever.

The paper had been losing about $100 million a year, yet the obituaries always noted how many Pulitzer Prizes the sheet had won.

Two Pulitzers in particular I can recall. In 1981, they collected one for a story about an 8-year-old junkie. The series was written by one of their original DEI hires. It was riveting stuff. Only one problem: the woman had made it all up. The Post gave that Pulitzer back.

In 2017, they collected another one — for hysterically promoting the Democrats’ Russian collusion hoax. They were cited for “deeply sourced reporting” — about events that never occurred. The Post has never returned that one. Nowadays it’s a badge of honor in “journalism” to falsely defame Republicans.

For instance, in 2021 the Post was hailed by the Deep State for its front-page scoop that President Trump had angrily demanded that Georgia’s top election official “find the fraud” in the 2020 election and that he would be a “national hero” if he did.

Only one problem: Trump never made either statement. The Post finally corrected that particular hoax months later, somewhere in the back of the paper, around page A 23.

Then there was the Post’s Nick Sandmann hoax. He was the Catholic high school kid in 2019 wearing a red MAGA cap, accused of making racist statements at the Washington Monument to a Native American “war hero.”

The Post ran seven stories denouncing Sandmann, then decided that perhaps they should check the videotape. Uh-oh!

The Post settled that one out of court, a year later, for the traditional “undisclosed sum.” Ditto, CNN.

In hindsight, the Post’s fatal error was trying to compete in a market niche — deranged late-stage Trump Derangement Syndrome — that had room for only one organ, in this case The New York Times.

The lesson here is: You cannot out-TDS the Times, period.

Harry Truman once said that if you gave voters a choice between a Republican and a Republican, they’ll pick the Republican every time.

Same thing with newspapers. If you give insane low-info crackpots a choice between the Times and the Times Lite, they’ll pick the Times every time. And so they did. The Post’s circulation collapsed. As the Post publisher told his pampered parlor pinks in 2024, “Nobody’s reading your stuff anymore.”

That same year, Bezos issued a statement saying that the Post would henceforward support “personal liberties and economic freedom.” That was intolerable enough, but he also refused to endorse Kamala Harris. He bankrolled the Melania movie. He had dinner at Mar-a-Lago and then attended the inauguration.

All the comrades at the Post told their fellow travelers that the paper was no longer worth reading. The readers obviously agreed. Now the Democrats are in deep mourning, and I can’t understand why.

They were losing elections with the Washington Post. They can keep losing elections without the Washington Post to fluff them 24/7.

The Post used to be the official organ of the Deep State whenever they wanted to frame a Republican. Remember Richard Nixon? This week they were trying to take out Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard. Same formula as the Russian collusion hoax — a so-called whistleblower, charges that have already been deemed unfounded, etc.

But that never stops them. There’s a “cover up.” How do you cover up something that didn’t happen? They can never answer that one. But the fact is, this time the Democrats peddled their hoax du jour not to the Post, but to the Wall Street Journal, a marginally less left-wing blat.

The Post is yesterday’s Fake News.

An even surer sign of the end came Friday night, on Air Force One. President Trump was flying to Palm Beach, doing his usual press gaggle.

Even in extremis, the Post had one of its few remaining crack scribes on the plane. The rabid leftist woman — er, birthing person — haughtily informed Trump that “a number of people in the MAGA base” are dissatisfied with him — as if someone of her ilk would know anything about real Americans.

The president had no idea who she was, only that she was obnoxious. He asked her, Who are you? All he needed to hear was “Washington Post.”

“The Washington Post?” Trump said, rolling his eyes. “You’re having a hard time getting readers. The Washington Post is doing very poorly. Go ahead, you have a very bad attitude. Go ahead.”

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He couldn’t even muster enough outrage about the Post anymore to yell at her. Speak no ill of the dead.

Full disclosure: I once worked as a leg man for the Post, for one night, on New Year’s Eve 2017. A female reporter to whom I had a most tenuous connection asked me if I were going to Mar-a-Lago for New Year’s. She was working on a story about his first year, and wanted a quote from the president, directly. I hesitated, but finally decided, what the hell, I’d just email it to her. That way, if she misquoted Trump, I’d have the proof.

That night I approached the president, told him what I was doing, and asked for a quote.

“I’ve had the best first year of any president, ever,” he said.

And that’s what ran in the Post a day or so later. After the layoffs this week, I recalled that evening and looked up the female reporter I’d fed the quote too. Turns out, she was already gone from the Post.

But she did write her own piece on the layoffs. It was headlined, “The Murder of The Washington Post.”

Murder? The paper committed suicide. To the very end, they couldn’t keep their facts straight.

Washington Post, DOA. Good riddance.