Who could have ever dreamed that Maura Healey’s name would turn up in the Jeffrey Epstein files before, say, Robert Kraft, just pick a name totally at random.

Heat-Pump Healey never seemed like Epstein’s type, in more ways than one. But there she was, being name-dropped by a local hack desperate to get a paying gig with the Democrat mega-pervert.

Granted, it’s a second-hand connection, guilt by association. But that’s the standard Maura Healey herself set last November, when asked about Harvard’s connection to Epstein, through ex-university president Larry Summers.

“This whole Epstein thing has really bothered me,” she said. “These women deserve justice. Anybody who is implicated by any of this should be held accountable.”

But that was then and this is now.

Her new position is that even though the hack who made this claim was paid thousands from her 2014 campaign, so he obviously has some connection to her, she knows nothing, and therefore she should not be held accountable even though by her own definition she is implicated.

The week has not gotten off to a good start for Maura. First she had to issue that statement denying any ties to Epstein. As the old political saying goes, if you’re denying, you’re losing.

But even worse than denying is lying, and yesterday Maura Healey seemed to be again shading the truth, at the very least. Once again, the governor was brought down by her slobbering coddling of illegal aliens, especially of the criminal variety.

The US attorney, Leah Foley, announced another mega-bust of welfare fraudsters, mostly from the Dominican Republic. (Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.)

After last month’s $7-million bust of a Haitian food-stamp fraud ring, Maura retorted that the referral on the Haitians came from the state Department of Transitional Assistance (DTA). Not very believable, but Leah couldn’t totally knock it down.

But yesterday, the feds were totally ready. The initial tip on the sinister foreign fiends came from the state of Rhode Island, and they tipped off Massachusetts that the Third World grifters were ripping off both states.

If not for the Herald reporter Tim Dunn, Maura would not have been asked about this latest fraud going on under her very nose, certainly not by the amen chorus in Boston regime-controlled media. When it comes to Maura, seldom – make that never – is heard a discouraging word in Boston agitprop.

But Dunn asked her for a comment on this latest Massachusetts mega-fraud, to which Hold-It Healey smugly replied:

“If it’s like the last one, that’s a case that was referred to the US attorney’s office for prosecution.”

Except it wasn’t. This is what Leah Foley said in her prepared statement about the investigation by the US Agriculture Department’s inspector general:

“The USDA OIG is not aware of the Mass DTA making any referral report to the USDA concerning this theft.”

The US attorney checked. You can bet on that. Back at the State House, Dunn tried to squeeze in a follow-up:

“Should you turn over the information to the feds?”

“You’re welcome,” she said. “Thank you.”

So now, for Maura, it’s time for another truth cleanup on Aisle 5.

Most likely, her harried gals will point out that she prefaced her, uh, incorrect statement with “If it’s like the last one.” Obviously, they will sniff, it wasn’t. She didn’t categorically say it was. So there!

But Maura Healey is the Queen of Alibis. Here are a few other potential excuses she can use today if Tim Dunn catches up with her (because you know none of the other crack State House scribes dare approach Her Highness except on bended knee).

Governor, why didn’t you tell the truth yesterday about the latest illegal welfare fraud?

How will she answer?

“I can’t speak to that because of the ongoing investigation.” (Excuse she uses for stonewalling questions about the alleged State Police investigation of her gang-banging, alleged cocaine-dealing western Mass aide LaMar Cook.)

“I never said that.” (Excuse employed when first asked about her bragging that she shut down two natural-gas pipelines, a boast that was recorded on video.)

“I was trying to save money.” (Her second excuse for killing the two gas pipelines, after the first one was exposed as a total lie.)

“These things happen.” (Excuse used when one of her pampered illegal aliens raped a young disabled girl in one of her foreign freeloader flophouses in Rockland.

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“I told my staff to make that call and they didn’t do it.” (How she explained why the state was flooded with thousands of illegal-alien criminals without a single background check about their criminal rap sheets.)

“They were obviously well-qualified for whatever we gave them.” (How she explained appointing her elderly Sapphic sweetheart to a $227,000-a-year SJC judgeship after their acrimonious split before the 2022 campaign for governor.)

“Massachusetts is the Saudi Arabia of fraud.” (A variation on her statement that Massachusetts is the “Saudi Arabia of wind,” just before wind provided less energy to the state in the recent cold spell than… wood and garbage fires.)

But then, of course, there’s the ultimate fallback excuse, for anything and everything, used not only by Maura Healey but by every other Democrat hack everywhere.

“Donald Trump did it!”

So one final question this morning for Maura. Gov. Healey, how did your name end up in the Jeffrey Epstein files?

“Donald Trump did it!”

Can we quote you on that, Governor?