It’s been a dreadful first week of 2026 for the local hackerama.

Let’s start with this headline from Fox News Channel about a multi-millionaire blow-in from Chicago by the name of Ayanna Pressley:

“’Squad’ lawmaker’s ex-con husband swats phone from interviewer trying to question wife.”

This happened Monday at Chelsea City Hall. A citizen journalist attempted to ask the Democrat race grifter about the multi-billion-dollar frauds being perpetrated by Somalis in Minnesota.

Her husband, Conan Harris, “smacked” the phone of the reporter’s hand, according to Fox.

“Sir,” the man responded to the millionaire jailbird, “you cannot take my phone out of my hand.”

But he could, and did. Apparently, you can take the thug out of prison, but you can’t take the prison out of the thug. Before his wife was elected to Congress, Conan Harris was just your run-of-the-mill jailbird with a hack job at City Hall. He’d just done 10 years for drug-trafficking.

Then Ayanna gets elected to Congress. Suddenly, the ex-con is an “empowerment consultant.” And she’s listing all kinds of new property on her financial disclosure forms, including a mansion on Martha’s Vineyard.

Instead of being in Chelsea, shouldn’t Conan have been doing some empowerment consulting? Maybe like with the embattled High Sheriff of Suffolk County, Steve Tompkins, who will likely be in a prison cell himself by the end of the year.

Check out this photo of the two of them, the ex-jailbird and the likely future jailbird, at Mayor Wu’s no-honkies-invited Christmas party in a public building in 2023. They were both dreaming of a non-white Christmas.

Next, back to ZooMass for a moment. I missed at least one brand-new hack on the payroll the other day. Remember Claire Cronin, a longtime state rep from Brockton who was the US ambassador to Ireland during the Biden catastrophe?

After the Biden junta was ejected from power a year ago, the Plymouth payroll patriot found succor and solace where they are all wont to do – at ZooMass.

She is now a “senior research consultant” for $102,250 a year. A mere pittance by UMass standards, but any port in a storm….

Readers have also asked, how did Ginny Buckingham’s husband David Lowy get that prime $449,772-a-year hack sinecure as “General Counsel” when he is, or was, at least a nominal Republican?

And why would he retire from a part-time $206,000-a-year “job” at age 64?

Here’s the answer. When Lowy “retired,” it opened a slot on the Supreme Judicial Court. And guess who Gov. Maura Healey picked to replace Lowy?

Her former Sapphic soulmate, Gabrielle Wolohojian, whom she had dumped for a new gal pal, 20 years younger than the wrinkly Gabrielle.

Another nationwide search!

This is how things work in the hackerama. You open a slot for one of yours by finding a new, even better job for the current parasitical payroll patriot. Everybody wins, except the taxpayer.

Next, come on down Rep. Chynah Tyler of Roxbury. She just agreed to pay Massachusetts $6,000 after she admitted spending thousands on personal expenses.

The proscribed expenses included $223 at Aicha’s African Hair Braiding Salon and $67.62 at Uber Eats.

In the agreement to pay what amounts to a fine, she blamed her problems on the birth of a child last winter, “which impacted my ability to personally oversee certain campaign finance activities.”

Really? Nobody could help? What about your, uh, husband?

Of course, in terms of sticky-fingered Roxbury pols, Chyna’s transgressions are small change. Two recent Roxbury city councilors, Tania Fernandes Anderson and Chuck Turner, have ended up in federal prison for assorted heists.

Three former Roxbury state senators – Dianne Wilkerson, Bill Owens and Royall Bolling Sr. – were likewise imprisoned in Club Fed, Wilkerson for stuffing cash into her bra and Bolling for income tax evasion.

Sen. Owens was more of a blue-collar type thug. He assaulted a motorist on Blue Hill Avenue with a tire iron and ended up at Cedar Junction for a short bid.

All the above asked for no special treatment. But they certainly would have appreciated getting the kind of kid-glove treatment that Gov. Hold-It Healey continues to lavish on her former top western Mass aide, LaMar Cook.

The background checks on Cook, if in fact there were any, were totally ignored. And then when the Conan Harris-type drug kingpin finally did get lugged and charged with trafficking 27 pounds of cocaine, Maura cut him a check for $31,000 and then claimed that, like Sgt. Schultz, she knew nothing.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

It’s just like her tall tales about the unperformed background checks in her foreign freeloader flophouses, or her ever-changing stories about stopping (or not stopping) the natural-gas pipelines.

Always Healey claims to be a victim of circumstance.

I guess she’s looking now for a new deputy for her western Mass office. Only one requirement: it can’t be a white male.

May I nominate Israel Rivera, Holyoke city councilor? He was lugged by the State Police on Dec. 20 speeding and running a red light. When he was pulled over, troopers detected a certain aroma.

As one police union later wrote:

“Councilor Rivera made statements invoking his elected position and referencing his authority over police funding…. Additionally (he) reportedly used offensive racial slurs during this incident, including statements that are deeply troubling and inconsistent with the principles of diversity, equity and inclusion.”

Offensive racial slurs? What more qualifications does a modern Massachusetts Democrat need?

None of the POC’s specific racial slurs have been quoted in western Mass media. I called the State Police yesterday looking for the actual incident report on Councilor Rivera.

By deadline, I had received nothing back. Sometimes I get the feeling the MSP don’t like me all that much.

A bad first week for the local Democrats. Those of us who work for a living can only hope it gets worse, much worse.

Maybe I’ll have that Rivera DUI by Sunday, despite the MSP’s best efforts to keep it under wraps. You know, professional courtesy and all that. But maybe Israel Rivera will make Maura forget her BFF LaMar Cook. I hear he’s a Democrat’s Democrat. Stay tuned.

(Order Howie’s new book, “Mass Corruption, Vol. 1: The Cops” at amazon.com or howiecarrshow.com/store.)

Attendees smile for a picture at the Boston Mayor Michelle Wu’s “Electeds of Color” party at the Parkman House in December of 2023. (@wutrain Instagram photo)