Everybody who is anybody in the hackerama has a driver – the head hack’s time is much too valuable to have to be worrying about little-people problems like stop lights, finding a parking space, etc.

Doesn’t matter if you’re elected or appointed, any hack worth his six-figure pension has some flunky ferrying him around from one phony-baloney meeting to another, all day long.

Am I right, Boston Police Commissioner Michael Cox?

For a while after Cox was appointed by Mayor Michelle Wu, his driver was Officer Craig D.D. Jones. They go back a long way, to the old days in the gang unit.

One thing a payroll patriot always wants in a driver is somebody he can trust. For example, former Mayor Marty Walsh used a female cousin of his who was on the job.

According to the BPD, Jones is no longer Cox’s driver. While he was, Jones was assigned to the DPU – the Dignitary Protection Unit. I hope Jones treated the dignitaries with more, uh, dignity than he did with many non-dignitaries he interacted with.

I requested Jones’ Internal Affairs Officer Resume, and got back 16 pages of reported incidents. Many were not “sustained,” as is the custom of the BPD when one of their own is accused, of anything.

How about this sustained incident, from August 2024:

“Officer Jones reported to Sgt. Kevin Swan who informed Supt. Dottin on Aug. 24 that his Department Firearm was either lost or stolen.”

Wow! I thought losing guns was more of a tradition with the State Police, or the Canton PD. And by the way, wasn’t Kevin Swan a driver for Mayor Mumbles Menino back in the day?

Officer Jones seems to have a temper, at least when he’s not dealing with dignitaries in the Dignitary Protection Unit. Here’s an unsustained allegation from 1998, that on Cheney Street he confronted a woman and told her “Just shut the bleep up bitch and move back.”

A couple of months later, Jones allegedly spotted her leaving what was then the Fleet Center “and when he saw her he stated in a loud voice, ‘Hey look, there’s that Cheney Street HO.’… she states that PO Jones kept screaming at her and swearing and calling her a bleeping whore etc.”

Here’s one from 2000 that was sustained – conduct unbecoming, for his behavior at an old Bickford’s on Gallivan Boulevard in Dorchester.

“He initiated a confrontation with a waitress and a manager. A videotape of the confrontation shows Craig Jones pushing the manager with either his hand or chest. The witness states that Craig Jones was abusive and aggressive.”

Check this one out from July 2007, sustained, with a 10-day suspension, four days to serve. It involved a dispute over, what else, a paid detail for O’Connell Construction.

“Mr. O’Connell states that P.O. Jones pounded on the side of his m/v and screamed at him, ‘You’re ripping me off’ when the P.O. noticed the time on the detail card. Mr. O’Connell felt threatened by the P.O.’s actions and believed that it was uncalled for.”

In 2016, an “oral reprimand” from Capt. Fong over, again, a paid detail. This time it was a BPD sergeant named Glardina who was supervising the detail. Jones was a no-show and Glardina called another officer. According to the incident report, Jones flipped out when he heard he’d lost his four hours of gravy.

What follows is the account of the BPD sergeant about the Commissioner’s future driver:

“Officer Jones became agitated, abusive, yelling and screaming at me calling me ‘an bleep’ and stating ‘You’ll get yours.’ During this whole ordeal, I was sitting in my cruiser. Off. Jones then proceeded to my driver’s side door flailing his arms at me in a crazed manner. During this time, I became fearful of my safety and locked myself in my cruiser….”

Here’s another sustained charge from 2008, dating back to a 2004 incident involving a civilian who was pulled over by two plainclothes cops, one of whom told him “Get the bleep out the car.”

The civilian says he was pulled out of his vehicle, searched and punched in the face.

“Complainant stated he had $120 in his pocket prior to the officer searching him and the money was missing when the complainant got him. Complainant stated the black officer repeatedly swore at him during the stop.”

Here are a few more of the complaints against Craig Jones, from different people, most of them unsustained:

“(In 2001) Mr. Belgrove states PO Jones called him a ‘Bitch Faggot’ and PO Jones struck Mr. Belgrove several times with his ‘Balled Fist.’…. (In 2005) Officer Jones threatened to beat him up…. (In 2006) Officer Jones swore at him and stated several times, “Give me your bleeping license and bleeping registration.’… Officer Jones spit in his face….

Police Commissioner Michael Cox (Nancy Lane/Boston Herald, File)

“(In 2007 at Downtown Crossing) P.O. Jones approached him and poked him in the face while telling him to ‘Shut the bleep up’… (In 2013 on Warrenton Street Jones) came toward my car started yelling to a point my face was covered with his saliva ‘Who the bleep you think you are, give me your bleeping license’… he came toward my car again cussed me out and spat right on my face.

“(In 2019 at Stuart and Tremont Streets) a black male yelled out the car window, ‘What the bleep are you doing? You trying to cut me off?’…. (In 2015 complainant) stated that the Officer swore at him and shoved him against a grate….”

In 2017, a woman called Internal Affairs to complain that Jones “has been harassing her, stalking her, giving out her phone number to other people, and harassing her through Facebook and through Instagram, by using ‘fake profiles.’”

Does it seem odd that Commissioner Cox would somehow pick this guy, no matter how long he’d known him, to be his driver? Is this really the guy the Comish wanted to be hanging with all day long?

It sometimes seems like Cox has a soft spot for cops who have… problems, shall we say. Or at least a certain kind of cop….

In case you were wondering, Craig Jones is certified by the MA POST Commission. The alleged watchdogs have no problems with any of the above. They never do. And you’re not surprised, are you?

Forget it Jake, it’s Massachusetts.

(Order Howie’s new book, “Mass Corruption: Vol. 1, The Cops,” at amazon.com or howiecarrshow.com/store.)