Q. I am an Orthodox Jew and my husband is a rabbi at our local Chabad.  This means that our family lives and he works in our home, which has a synagogue and Torah closet.  Every Friday night we have services and I cook for 20 plus people who attend. I do not have many rights as a woman in the Chabad as we must sit separately and not mingle together with men.

I wear a wig to cover my natural hair and always wear a long dress to cover my legs and arms in public. My husband wants me to move out. He says a civil judge does not have the power or authority to tell us what to do, let alone divorce us, and insists on us only having a Get in Boston and splitting the cost.  I do not know what to do, and as a woman, I do not have many resources for helping me understand the process. I also do not have access to any money.

Can you tell me if my husband is right about the process?

A. I have had many clients over the years go through the Get process after obtaining a civil divorce. The requirement to participate in the Get process can be written into a civil divorce agreement.

The Rabbinical Court in Boston can issue the Get but does not have the same powers granted to the probate and family court by our Legislature to divide your property, provide you with alimony sufficient for you to live elsewhere, ensure you have health insurance coverage, or make rulings on custody and support for any minor children you and your husband share. The probate and family court in Massachusetts is tasked with handling these matters.

It sounds like your husband does not believe anyone has authority to tell him what to do.  Even if the Rabbinical Court had power to deal with all of the issues which arise in a divorce action and you submitted to their authority, if your husband does not follow the orders, you will have to take him to court for enforcement.

The civil court has power to enforce orders in ways the Rabbinical Court would not. For example, if a person fails to pay child support, the Department of Revenue can garnish wages, bank accounts and tax refunds to collect funds for you.

Go to your local probate court and meet with the lawyer for the day for more direction and resources.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com