The feds are lugging so many illegal aliens in Massachusetts right now that it’s getting harder and harder to keep track of all the bad hombres.

We need some way to single out the particularly horrific foreign savages from the run-of-the-mill career criminal Third World grifters and welfare chiselers.

Perhaps we need to honor, er, dishonor some of the more memorable undocumented Democrats destroying Massachusetts.

You’ve heard of Hogan’s Heroes? How about we call these illegal thugs Healey’s Heroes? Or Healey’s Hotel Horrors? I mean, to make something like this work, you need alliteration.

Healey’s Hombres, perhaps.

The first Healey Hombre of the day is Estarlin Ortiz-Alcantara, age 38, an illegal-alien Dominican fentanyl dealer, because of course he is, or was.

What sets Alcantara apart is not his standard illegal-alien crimes in the Joe Biden golden age, but where he actually conducted his fentanyl trade.

As the feds put it in Paragraph 44 of their complaint against Alcantara and his amigos, he arranged “a fentanyl deal… that took place in the diaper aisle of the Fall River Massachusetts Walmart.”

In the diaper aisle!

I guess it makes sense. So many of the freeloading illegals are pregnant, both to avoid deportation and also to extract even more welfare cash from the gringos, that they do not seem at all out of place in the diaper aisles.

Alcantara instructed the woman dealer buying his deadly wares that he was running late and would send a courier to the Walmart.

He even gave her the code so that she could recognize Alcantara’s bad hombre, and not confuse him with all the other fentanyl-dealing Dominican illegal thugs swarming the Commonwealth.

Alcantara’s magic code words:

“I’m here for the Pampers!”

Some would call these illegal drug dealers desperadoes. You can call this crew the “Diaperadoes.”

Sometimes the Diaperadoes took a child with them on their rounds in Bristol County. They talked about their collections not in dollars but in “pesos.”

Alcantara lectured his runners about how to give snitches the swerve, and how they should never forget to count the “pesos,” on the grounds that they were dealing with junkies, who tend not to be the most honest people in the world.

Last week in Boston, Alcantara was sentenced to 10 years in federal prison and “is subject to deportation upon completion of the imposed sentence.”

The Democrats are shocked, shocked! How dare the evil Republicans deport this nice young man.

He’s not the only bad Healey Hombre in the news right now. Let’s go to the hotels. Last week we told you how some Brazilians were conducting their own Fast & Furious gun-running operations out of at least one of Healey’s foreign freeloader flophouses.

That’s only the latest depredation we’ve found out about. Voodoo is the least of what’s been going on in the flophouses. (Healey’s minions refer to it as “magic.”) More rapes than we’ll probably ever know about, if you can judge by the case of Ronald Joseph.

He’s under arrest now, but the Democrats knew for more than a year how this Haitian hobo allegedly raped and impregnated his own 14-year-old daughter. But the Democrats declined to arrest him because…. professional courtesy.

In a recent better-late-than-never court filing about Joseph’s dangerousness, the pathetic Democrat district attorney Marian T. Ryan’s minion wrote:

“The defendant had been raping his daughter since they had left Haiti. It started in Brazil, then continued in Mexico, and ultimately continued when they were living in Marlboro.”

So much for the phony-baloney story that all these Third World drifters vacationing here in Massachusetts were fleeing “oppression” in Haiti. Like so many of them now squatting in leisure on our dime, most of the Haitians here were simply welfare-shopping – looking for the best place to go on a permanent vacation.

Brazil? Nah. Mexico? No way, Jose! Massachusetts – yeah baby. Everything free in America!

By the time Daddy Joseph, his girlfriend (not wife) and daughter flopped in Marlboro, the child had already had one abortion. The staff at the Holiday Inn noticed what was going on. Authorities belatedly removed the girl from the flophouse, which did not go over well with Ronald Joseph.

Let the Democrats describe what happened next with their fellow Democrat:

“The defendant became enraged and abusive towards the staff, so much so that the Marlboro Police had to be brought in to facilitate taking his daughter. As a result of the defendant’s aggression, he was moved from the shelter, so as not to be around other women and children.”

Notice what didn’t happen. He wasn’t arrested. Maura Healey’s criminal coddlers called an Uber, on our dime, and merely sent the alleged incestuous pedophile to a different flophouse, in a different county.

Beyond, at least for a while, the not-so-long arm of the local law.

And then Healey et al. stonewalled this newspaper for almost a year about the horrific crime.

By the way, this alleged Haitian hotel horror is not to be confused with the Haitian who is charged with raping a different disabled 14-year-old girl in a different Healey hotel in Kingston.

That fiend was let go by a Democrat judge with a $500 bail. (The Republican district attorney had asked for a $25,000 bond). He’d still be walking the streets if ICE hadn’t picked him up after Trump became president.

Meanwhile, the same regime-controlled media in Boston that for a year totally ignored Ronald Joseph’s alleged child rape are now giving the same good leaving alone to the real details in the case of Wilson Martell LeBron, a/k/a Juan Carlos Baez.

Last week ICE agents grabbed him outside a courthouse in Boston in the middle of his latest trial. The usual blow-in drifters made it seem like he was a martyr, the reincarnation of Nelson Mandela.

Turns out, it would have taken the Democrat operatives with press passes about 10 seconds to see that this Dominican illegal is a convicted cocaine and heroin trafficker. He did serious state time, and would have been imprisoned a second time if it hadn’t been for the state drug lab scandal with Annie Dookhan.

But sometimes a story is just too good to check out, so once again it was left to this newspaper to tell… the rest of the story.

That’s it for our first installment of Healey’s Hombres. Let me close with some words to remember, wherever you are in the Third World hellhole that our state has become:

“I’m here for the Pampers.”

The feds offered up this evidence, too. (U.S. Attorney’s Office.)