Q. My ex filed a modification trying to get sole legal custody of our kids. She says we do not communicate and cannot make joint decisions. She just doesn’t want to communicate with me. The judge appointed a Guardian Ad Litem to investigate whether this change is good for our kids.

I have a meeting with the GAL in a few weeks. How do you recommend I prepare myself for the meeting?

A. First and foremost, copy your ex or her lawyer on all communications with the GAL so you are not accused of having any secret communications (unless it is merely scheduling the time/place for a meeting). This rule also applies to any documents you send to the GAL. Next, gather any written documents which back up your position in advance of the meeting with the GAL in an organized fashion.

For you, this would likely include email communications with your ex showing how you communicate when decisions need to be made for your children. Or, it may be that you use an app like Our Family Wizard in which case you can print the communication chains. If you are going to send an email chain or app conversation – send the whole conversation, don’t omit the parts you don’t like because that will give the wrong impression. Find as many examples you can of when you were able to communicate to resolve an issue, but also include instances of when you were not able to come to an agreement.

It is important that the GAL see the constructive dialogue. If possible, organize all of the documents you are going to provide into a book for the GAL with an index. Provide a copy of the book to your ex or her lawyer and keep one for your own use.

You should also include in the book things like the children’s report cards to show how they are doing in school or medical reports if there are any health concerns. If your children have an IEP, include the most recent IEP and recent annual reviews.

As you are pulling the documentation together, make a timeline for yourself with bullet points and notes of things that happened.  If possible, tie the timeline into the index in the book you are making for the GAL. Bring the notes you have made to the meeting for your own use (remember if you give the notes to the GAL you have to share a copy with your ex). The more organized you are the better it will go.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com