The Celtics are in their prime.

Which makes them a perfect match for Amazon.

Rumor has it Amazon founder and centibillionaire Jeff Bezos is interested in buying the defending NBA champions.

Bezos can launch you into space via a Blue Origin rocket.

Or deliver your toothpaste and toilet paper in less than 12 hours via Amazon Prime in a blue cargo van.

Or both.

On the same day.

He’s certainly smart enough to leave well enough alone when it comes to the NBA champions.

Bezos’ net worth is estimated at $197.5 billion. That means he could buy the entire NBA and still have $50 billion left over in petty cash.

The Celtics’ $211 million luxury tax price tag for the 2025-26 season?

He’s got that much in loose change in the back seat of that famous 1997 Honda Accord he drove for years.

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons told us Monday that there’s “legitimate buzz about Jeff Bezos buying the Celtics, and I think it’s real.” Simmons added that “it’s real that he’s potentially in the mix for this.”

Works for me. As long as John W. Henry and the Fenway Sports Group oligarchy are not in the mix, the sale of the Celtics should be seamless for the Green-hued masses.

Bezos buying the team would be the best possible outcome for Celtics fans, barring Steve Pagliuca being able to scrape up the $6 billion price tag affixed by the NBA.

And while that price seems absurd for anything, never mind a basketball team that still pays rent after nearly 80 years of existence, it is just about right for the most successful franchise in NBA history.

Just 2 years ago, the NBA’s version of Charlie Brown – the Phoenix Suns – were bought for $4 billion. And they don’t have their own arena, either.

Lucy is still holding that football from the 1976 NBA Finals.

Bezos tried to buy the Washington Commanders. So he’s got the sports itch.

His management style would also be a perfect fit for the Celtics in their current stage of near perfection.

He’s not afraid to hear “no” for an answer.

His motto for Amazon is simple: “Put the customer first. Invent. And be patient.” He neglected the part about “pee your pants if you’re in the middle of that 13-hour warehouse shift.”

OK, so they don’t win Banner 19 for another two years.

“The Bezos Principle” believes that “the someone who cannot tolerate criticism or critique should not do anything new or interesting.”

That makes him a perfect fit for the Boston sports scene. He’ll get more than enough criticism every year the Celtics don’t win a championship. And unlike the owners of the Red Sox, Patriots, and Bruins, Bezos’ skin might actually be thick enough to tolerate it without going into silent mode.

Or leaking tears to sycophantic members of the press.

Bezos’ principles for hiring key personnel at Amazon are equally simple. “Can he admire the person, can the person raise the common standard, and under what circumstances could the person become exemplary.”

Sounds like the perfect formula for wooing potential free-agents.

Never mind leaving Brad Stevens alone.

Of all the Stephen King-M. Night Shyamalan horror flick scenarios that could/would occur if Fenway Sports Group made the Celtics another one of its “assets,” the potential loss of Stevens in the front office due to “conflicts in philosophy” would be the worst.

Under a Bezos regime, Stevens would likely have his job for as long as he wanted it.

Bezos owns a $68 million abode in Miami on the same Indian Creek street in Miami (there’s only one) as Tom Brady. Don’t fret over concerns of an “absentee” owner. The real owner of the Celtics (Wyc’s dad, Irving) has been quietly teaching business at Stanford since 1985 alongside Professor Donald Harris.

The Celtics are tied to a lease at TD Garden until 2035. While Bezos could certainly come up with enough money to buy his way out of it, the Jacobs family may not let him do so.

The arena issue remains the least important issue at play. Among the other NBA teams that do not own their home arenas: Lakers, Bucks, and Heat.

Even the part-time presence of Bezos in Boston would also provide a necessary counterweight to the otherwise near-unchecked power of the Pizzuti-Henry syndicate.

The inner muscle of FSG is constantly being flexed, whether it’s through favorable rulings for development around Fenway Park, or when the City of Boston bulldozed a path for White Stadium to be bulldozed so that a future women’s pro soccer team owned by Linda Pizzuti Henry would have a new home.

Bezos’ potentially beloved presence as the owner of Celtics in Boston would further tweak the Pizzuti-Henry cartel because Bezos owns the Washington Post. The Post is a final destination for many Globies in their State Run Media career path.

If the current slate of elected officials were to oppose the Amazon Center at Boston Seaport – home of the Celtics and Boston Fweedom of the WNBA (Ed: There is not actually a WNBA team called the Boston Fweedom) – Bezos could simply throw his billions behind those who might be more accommodating.

Like Mayor Josh Kraft, perhaps.

The other NBA owners would also roll over like a drunken Labrador retriever to welcome Bezos into their club.

A $6 billion price on the Celtics would mean a similar price for possible expansion franchises in Las Vegas and Seattle. “That would mean a check for $400 million to every NBA owner — all 30. They’re trying to establish a price with this Celtics team,” Simmons said.

A rising tide lifts all boats, especially when it’s high tide at $6 billion o’clock.

A prime time, indeed.

Bill Speros (@billsperos and @RealOBF on X) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.