Don’t go Joe!

I’m begging you, no malarkey, not a joke, not hyperbole – please, don’t throw in the towel.

Keep running for re-election!

How sick can you be?

Let me remind you, Dementia Joe, that you are, as you have proudly informed us, “a fully vaccinated booster person.”

You took the “COVID 9 vactine.” Your words, not mine. All dialogue guaranteed verbatim.

Brandon, if you downsize to Marion Manor in January, who’s going to conduct all those “Socratic dialogues” that state-run media claims you’ve been presiding over in the Oval Office?

But if the comrades do give you the bum’s rush this weekend like you’re Gold Bar Bob Menendez, I’m going to miss doing these Weekend at Brandon’s columns.

At what may be one of his last speeches as a candidate, here is what he had to say about tax rates:

“No billionaire should pay a tax rate lower than a teacher or a firefighter or a nurse, someone working like a belt.”

Someone working like a belt? Is that a… Delaware turn of phrase? Like last weekend when he twice said that elections must be decided at “battle boxes.”

In Massachusetts, Mr. President, we call them ballot boxes.

But getting back to working like a belt, if I’m thinking of hard-working articles of clothing, a belt would not be the first thing that comes to my mind.

In my opinion, shoes definitely work harder than your average belt.

Unless of course, it’s Chris Christie’s belt. Or Jerry Nadler’s.

Yesterday, I checked the White House website for official transcripts to see how their stenographers transcribed “working like a belt.” Nothing was posted. Maybe they’ve already gotten the word.

This week, Biden has misgendered the Secret Service director. He said he wants to “thurn things around” and “build the economy from the middle out and the bottom nup.” He called the NAACP the “NAAC.”

He misidentified the latest anti-Trump hoax, Project 2025, as “Project 2024, 2025,” before finally calling it, “Trump’s deal.”

He said Barack Obama asked him to run for vice president… in 2020. He lied again that the inflation rate was 9% when he took office.

When Lester Holt of NBC asked him about his comment last week that he wanted to put Trump in the “bullseye,” Biden snarled, “I didn’t say crosshairs.”

When Holt repeated his question about the bullseye, Biden again snapped, “I didn’t say crosshairs!”

He promised to raise “the Frederal minimum wage.” Also, he is “determined to end Tum’s track’s Trump’s tax cuts.”

On Wednesday, Dementia Joe did a BET interview just before he was diagnosed with, you know, the thing.

He said he’s only having problems with black voters this year because he can no longer walk “through the projects… it’s too dangerous for me to be out walking unaccompanied.”

Can we quote you on that, Mr. President? Do blacks only live in public-housing projects?

He bragged about his appointments.

“Look at the heat I’m getting because I I named a uh, the, uh, secretary of defense – the black man!”

What’s-his-name, the black man, works at the Pentagon, or as Biden has called it, “the Outfit.”

Take it away, Brandon, and this is just from the past few days:

“We’re gonna build two million affordable homes and cap rent increases at 5% a year so corporate landlords can’t – GOD! – anyway!”

Here’s a history lesson:

“We’re making sure there’s access to affordable internet, just like in Roosevelt’s time, you know back in, earlier that that that making sure that there was electricity in agriculture in the rural areas that’s all it takes time for it to happen and and so it it it it’s just taking time for people to see it.”

Highways:

“I-95 runs up through what used to be the black community, divided it, six lanes wide. We’re gonna make sure that if the states want it, we’re gonna be able to pave over the top of that and still have the highway connecting neighborhoods.”

On his home state:

“Think about this. My state of Delaware. Not many of you don’t know my state. My state of Delaware has the Delaware River up along the jagged… but at the top of the state there’s a half moon….”

On high-speed rail:

“Like America First high-speed rail line that’s gonna take you from Las Vegas to Los Angeles in two hours, create three, three, thirty thousand jobs and guess what save billions of tons of because of of pollution….”

On billionaires:

“I’m gonna make sure billionaires have to pay a minimum of 25 percent, which isn’t even the highest racket.”

That’s what Biden said – “racket,” not bracket. Given the depredations of the Biden Crime Family over the decades, that one might be called a Freudian slip.

On his record-high inflation:

“Guess what? We have to deal with corporate greed now. No it is! Corporate profits are double since the Pandemic and they keep bringing prices down.”

Can we quote you on that, Mr. President?

Health care costs:

“Because a lot of ‘em now need cancer drugs, need heart medicines, they range anywhere from two thousand bucks a year to 15 thousand, from four thousand bucks a year, to 10 thousand bucks to 12. In the second term we’re gonna sure that’s not only exist but for every single American, every American!”

On assorted other health care issues:

“We can do more on helder care, child care.”

“Mark my words – we’re gonna restore Roe we Wade as the law of the land.”

This could be the final Weekend at Brandon’s column. But not if I have anything to say about it.

I’ll do anything I can to keep Biden in this fight. How hard will I work? I’ll work like a belt. My word as a Biden. Not a joke.