Q. My ex decided to fire his lawyer and represent himself. He did not follow court orders and made the trial a complete nightmare. Because of his behavior, our trial ended up taking two full extra days.

I think the judge felt sorry for me in the end and he ordered my ex to pay all of my legal fees for the trial because my ex behaved so badly.  Also, I had made very reasonable offers leading up to trial and my ex just refused to settle.

Now my ex owes me $75,000 in legal fees and has stopped paying child support because he did not agree with the judge that child support is due while our kids are in college.  He appealed the judgment and told me he does not have to pay the legal fees or continue paying support until the appeal is decided.

My lawyer wants me to file a complaint for contempt but to make it worse, my ex has now moved out of state making it even harder for me to serve him with things and collect the funds he owes me.

Does he get to just wait until after the appeal?  What is the most cost effective way of making him pay now?

A. Your lawyer is right, you should file a complaint for contempt now.  Don’t wait.  Filing an appeal does not give your ex the right to self-help and he does not get to decide for the Appeals Court that his case is compelling to the point he will win.  If he pays what he owes and wins the appeal, you will have to pay him back.  But, if he felt his appeal was that good, he could have sought a stay of the divorce judgment which would have put a pause on his obligation to pay until after the appeal.

If you file a contempt now, you can amend it later as the amounts he owes you increase because a contempt case will take time and more arrears will accumulate.  You don’t want to give him the opportunity argue that the amounts have become so high that he can’t possibly pay.

The Massachusetts Department of Revenue will be able to work with the agency in the state where your ex has relocated to enforce your child support order and, as well, any contempt judgment on child support arrears.  So, if you are not already a DOR customer – now would be the perfect time to sign up.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com