Facts and opinion heading into Tom Brady Roast Weekend:

The Celtics got it right.

Maybe this year will be different.

Boston crushed Miami in Game 5. And the Celtics did it at TD Garden, which has become a House of Horrors of late for them and the Bruins.

The 118-84 rout gave the TD Garden faithful and TV viewers a chance to offer Mike Gorman a fitting farewell. Gorman has been the voice of the Celtics since the Reagan Administration. His final call came off a game in which these Celtics manifested – finally – some of that killer instinct that was commonplace in the past.

Gorman was a pro’s pro. And the next negative thing said about him as a broadcaster and a man will be the first.

Thanks, Mike, for everything.

Speaking of TD Garden, you’ll find better ice this time of year on Spy Pond.

John Henry Kissinger continues to feverishly work to bring peace between Saudi-backed LIV Golf and what’s left of the PGA Tour.

He may not know that his Red Sox are the surprise story of MLB.

Henry got his roster at Filene’s Basement, Building 19 and Dollar General.

The Running of the Brides has nothing on Jarren Duran going from first to third. And speaking of “Good Stuff Cheap,” Craig Breslow and Andrew Bailey have rebuilt their top-tier-thus far pitching rotation using Duct Tape, Spackle, and a handful of screws.

Boston is posting pitching numbers not seen since the Dead Ball Era, while losing 60% of its projected rotation to the IL. Those spots have been replaced by a cast of characters who have no trouble maintaining anonymity outside of Fenway Park.

The Red Sox are no longer turning routine ground balls into question marks, thanks to the installation of Ceddanne Rafaela at short. And they are fun to watch. At this point, that’s all we can ask.

Drake Maye has given the Patriots a badly needed jolt in terms of personality.

Call him “Hillbilly Gronk.”

For four years, the face of this franchise was a miserable, Medicare-eligible head coach whose only goal was catching Don Shula and keeping his sons employed.

It’s nice to have players again.

Maye’s sincerity is equaled by his potential. Being the youngest of four large and competitive brothers, fans need not worry about Maye having his feelings hurt. While Mac Jones spent his formative years doing ballroom dancing and taking glamour shots, Maye was taking body shots from his bigger and older brothers.

Don’t forget. Brady was the youngest in his family. His 3 sisters showed no mercy when it came to athletics. This stuff matters.

You cannot win in the NFL without a high-end QB. And Maye was the best chance the Patriots were going to have to get one thanks to the current mess created by Bill Belichick and Robert Kraft.

Without the right QB, nothing else matters. Just ask the 49ers.

Maye may not become an NFL top-tier QB. But it won’t be due to lack of effort or passion.

Multiple media types swooned watching Belichick break down Maye. We’re still waiting on Belichick’s explanation of N’Keal Harry. Or Cole Strange? Or how he passed on Nick Chubb AND Lamar Jackson for Isaiah Wynn and Sony Michel. Or …

No human being alive knows more about football than Belichick – except for Jimmy Johnson. But the Hoodie’s draft assessment rings hollow when they echo off his recent calamities.

We like Sierra Leone, Catching Freedom, and Forever Young in the 150th Kentucky Derby Saturday. Let’s hope all the horses get out alive.

Here are our best suitable-for-print Brady roast zingers, without mentioning the word “Gisele”:

Tom is also the greatest magician of all time. He turned Eli Manning and Nick Foles into Super Bowl champions.

If Tom gets any more facial reconstruction, his head will double as a Hall of Fame bust.

He’s just two surgeries away from becoming Sharon Osbourne’s body double.

Tom’s kids have grown up so fast. Gronk and Edelman can now stay out until 11 o’clock.

Every time Tom watches “Blue Bloods,” it costs him another $5,000 in child support.

Tom never cheated. Then he did those FTX commercials for Sam Bankman-Fried. Go big or go to jail, as they say.

Tom won 7 Super Bowls, 5 MVP awards, and 3 Emmys for “Best Tantrum By A Quarterback.”

Tom celebrated his last championship by eating a carb.

Tom’s ex once said he had “lots of concussions.” And thanks to Alex Guerrero’s latest concoction, he can’t remember any of them.

The biggest Boston-Philly rivalry is not the Celtics-Sixers, Bruins-Flyers, or Patriots-Eagles. It’s the one between Boston-based DraftKings CEO and co-founder Jason Robins and his Fanatics counterpart, Philly native Michael Rubin. When Fanatics moved to buy PointsBet last year, DraftKings stepped in with a higher offer just because. That cost Fanatics another $45 million.

The two companies are locked in a legal Stalingrad over the status of former DK VIP head Michael Hermalyn – who left DK for Fanatics in January. This week, a federal judge in Boston granted DK an injunction which enforces the terms of its employment agreement with Harmalyn. He will continue working at Fanatics.

The companies pulled no punches.

A DratfKings statement chided “Hermalyn’s lies and deception.” It highlighted parts of the ruling which said Hermalyn “struggled with candor to the court” and described his testimony as “not credible,” “evasive,” and “[a]t best … highly misleading.”

A Fanatics spokesperson called the suit a “cheap attempt at petty retribution” and said it is being “used to instill fear and intimidation across DraftKings’ entire employee base.” They added DraftKings employees are “scared into staying in that toxic culture” because of it.

Stay tuned.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmai.com.