Paul Elmstrand and Cindy Elmstrand-Castruita met each other in kindergarten. By the time they were in third grade at Isanti Elementary, the two were in the same class for the first time, and in fourth grade they competed against each other for class president.

Cindy won.

“I always held that against him,” she said during an interview with Southwest News Media on Feb. 26. But Elmstrand would have the last laugh winning class president when they were in high school.

The relationship grew stronger as the years went on, and the high school sweethearts married in 2018 before settling down in Chaska.

“When I think about my husband and I think about our life together, it felt like a storybook, it felt perfect,” Elmstrand-Castruita said.

On Sunday, Feb.18, Elmstrand along with fellow Burnsville Police Officer Matthew Ruge and Firefighter/Paramedic Adam Finseth were shot and killed after responding to a domestic call, according to city officials. The gunman was later identified as Shannon Gooden, who took his own life.

To Elmstrand-Castruita, her husband meant everything.

He just lived his life so well, that everyone that met him was touched by him, she said.

Bus rides

In ninth grade Elmstrand and Elmstrand-Castruita had to take a bus to school at Cambridge-Isanti High School and she had a choice to make: Who was she going to sit next to on the bus?

“He just seemed like a safe person to me so I just sat by him, and I sat by him every single day,” Elmstrand-Castruita said.

She said after school she would be visibly tired, and Elmstrand would ask if she was OK. His caring of others, especially for her, was something shed witness for years to come.

“Now I see how much he cared about me even then,” she said.

During freshman year, the two eventually started dating. During the summer, he invited her to the 4-H show, where he was showing cows. “He loved those cows so much, so much so that I thought it was weird,” she added.

The two broke up for a brief period during high school, but remained friends.

At the end of their sophomore year she was looking for a summer job, and knew the Elmstrand family hired summer help at their strawberry farm. She reached out to her future husband inviting him to coffee, and also to apologize for how she broke up with him.

“We sat down for a cup of coffee and we didn’t talk about the farm at all,” Elmstrand-Castruita said. The two spoke for what she said seemed like hours and got to know more about him and his love for his family.

“I just realized his values were so pure and I was so drawn to that,” Elmstrand-Castruita said.

While they were picking strawberries in the heat of the summer, she said over those three weeks we just completely fell in love with each other.

“I was his first and only girlfriend ever,” she said.

During freshman year of college, Elmstrand-Castruita remembers a walk the two took during a rough time in the relationship. In her mind, it was the walk to give each other closure, the walk couples take to end their relationship. But by the end that wasn’t the case.

“By the end of the walk, we were back together; it was just inevitable,” she said.

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A couple of years later, with a semester left in school for Elmstrand and a year left for Elmstrand-Castruita, he asked about rings, narrowing down options to the one he would buy for her.

While a proposal seemed imminent, time went on, and soon Elmstrand-Castruita was about to leave for a study abroad trip to Spain as part of her college program.

During the final day before embarking halfway across the world, the two went for a walk in their favorite park at Lake George in Anoka. Suddenly, he asked Elmstrand-Castruita to do a twirl. She thought it was odd, but did it anyway, and by the time she turned around he was on one knee proposing to her. The next day she was on a plane for her study abroad program.

While away, Elmstrand, who wasn’t much of a planner, helped get wedding details arranged. A few months after returning home from Spain, the couple got married with the support of many people in the community pitching in.

Marriage

Paul Elmstrand and Cindy Elmstrand-Castruita pose for a photo with their dog and first child, Maria. (Courtsy of Cindy Elmstrand-Castruita)

After graduating from college, the couple moved to an apartment in Plymouth.

Then the COVID-19 pandemic happened and the couple got a dog. Soon after, they got pregnant, and the couple decided it was time to move in to a bigger place.

Eventually they found themselves purchasing a townhouse in Chaska. “Weve absolutely loved living here,” Elmstrand-Castruita said.

Elmstrand, who worked as a Burnsville police officer since 2019, was able to live a little ways from where he protected and served, something Elmstrand-Castruita thought was important after some reflection.

“It helped my husband to be home when he was at home,” she said.

Even on the worst days of work, he left work behind by the time he got to his front door.

“He never came home angry, never took things out on me or the kids, he was just his happy, funny self every time he was home,” Elmstrand-Castruita said.

For Elmstrand, the father of two-year-old Maria and six-month old Mateo, his family was above all. Family was his number one value, she added.

Working five days on and four off, he would completely change his schedule around to be with his family.

“He was just the most amazing father,” Elmstrand-Castruita said.

At the core of his life, his humor Elmstrand-Castruita described, his love for family, and people around him, was his conviction in his faith.

Faith

Two people the couple got to know well at Woodridge Church in Medina was Austin Holmes, a pastor at the church, and his wife Lea.

The four became friends after spending time in different groups together and raising kids similar in age.

Elmstrand’s faith is something Holmes will always remember him for.

“He really believed that the way of Jesus was the way to treat people, that’s why he was such a good police officer,” Holmes said.

During a vigil in Burnsville last week, Holmes heard stories of what Elmstrand was like when he was on duty, a side of Elmstrand that Holmes didn’t get to see. But the stories he heard being told by Elmstrand’s coworkers reflected the same person he knew.

“He was the same there as I experienced with him when I was camping with him, the same guy,” Holmes said, adding their relationship started to blossom in a new way when they started having kids, something he treasures.

He was just an amazing dad, and that was a huge conviction for the both of us. We wanted to be the best fathers we could be, Holmes said.

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In reflecting on their time together, Holmes said one thing that will always stick out to him was his willingness to help others.

When Holmes and his family bought a home, Elmstrand knew lawn care was something Holmes hated. “He just came and would mow my lawn for me, and he just did that,” he said.

“It was his way of loving us doing that act of love,” Holmes said.

During Elmstrand’s funeral Saturday at Woodridge Church in Medina, he got to share words about his dear friend. During the days following his death, before he knew he would be sharing, Holmes thought of Romans 12:21: Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

“The world is going to miss him, like the world needs more people like him,” Holmes said.