Kevin Cusick’s countdown of the top newsmakers, groundbreakers and world-class fakers looks back on all the pomp and circumstance surrounding Sunday’s rather large football game.

20. (tie) Dre Greenlaw

Achilles ruptures are much more painful when you’re merely running onto the field.

San Francisco 49ers linebacker Dre Greenlaw (57) is helped after an injury against the Kansas City Chiefs during the first half of the NFL Super Bowl 58 football game Sunday, Feb. 11, 2024, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/George Walker IV)

20. (tie) Bud Light

Wastes another fortune, trying in vain to convince Americans to guzzle their skunky swill..

(Twitter photo)

19. Kirk Cousins

Shows his Achilles is in dancing shape in lead-up to a football game he will never, ever play in.

Kirk Cousins, Cam Jordan perform a Magic Mike skit during the NFL Honors award show ahead of the Super Bowl 58 football game Thursday, Feb. 8, 2024, in Las Vegas. The San Francisco 49ers face the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl 58 on Sunday. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

18. Las Vegas

Not quite as tacky and sketchy as it usually looks.

An Elvis impersonator waits to have his photo taken with visitors in front of a Super Bowl 58 sign at Caesars Palace Friday, Feb. 9, 2024 in Las Vegas. The Kansas City Chiefs will play the NFL football game against the San Francisco 49ers Sunday. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

17. Duke and Duchess of Sussex

Pass on big game, as they’re not considered royalty in Vegas, either.

Britain’s Prince Harry and Meghan Duchess of Sussex attend a Summer Party at the British Ambassador’s residence in Dublin, Ireland, Tuesday July 10, 2018. The royal couple are on a two day visit to Ireland. (Brian Lawless/PA via AP)

16. Tom Brady

Thinks they could have squeezed him into a few more ads.

Former NFL quarterback Tom Brady hits from the third tee at Pebble Beach Golf Links during the second round of the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am golf tournament in Pebble Beach, Calif., Friday, Feb. 2, 2024. (AP Photo/Ryan Sun)

15. Post Malone

Shatters Super Bowl record for face tattoos set by Mike Tyson in 2022.

Post Malone performs “America the Beautiful” during the first half of the NFL Super Bowl 58 football game Sunday, Feb. 11, 2024, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Steve Luciano)

14. Aaron Rodgers

Immunized against Super Bowl Fever for the rest of his career.

Aaron Rodgers hits from the 11th tee on the Spyglass Hill Golf Course during the first round of the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am golf tournament Thursday, Feb. 1, 2024, in Pebble Beach, Calif. (AP Photo/Eric Risberg)

13. The DunKings

We chuckled during the Ben Affleck ad … then immediately felt a deep, personal shame ….

(Courtesy photo)

12. Elon Musk

Cashes in on Super wager on Chiefs, cutting his recent losses to $66 billion.

File – Tesla CEO Elon Musk waves as he arrives at the annual political festival Atreju, organized by the Giorgia Meloni’s Brothers of Italy political party, in Rome, Dec. 16, 2023. A judge says Elon Musk must give up a compensation package awarded by Tesla’s board of directors that is potentially worth more than $55 billion. (AP Photo/Alessandra Tarantino, File)

11. Andy Reid

Wondering if Travis ever speaks to Taylor that way.

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – FEBRUARY 11: Travis Kelce #87 of the Kansas City Chiefs reacts at Head coach Andy Reid in the first half against the San Francisco 49ers during Super Bowl LVIII at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

10. Usher

Thankfully, his halftime show spared us all of the crotch-grabbing we got from Rihanna last year.

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – FEBRUARY 11: (L-R) Usher and Alicia Keys perform onstage during the Apple Music Super Bowl LVIII Halftime Show at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

9. Tucker Carlson

Honored to serve as official food taster at Vladimir Putin’s Super Bowl shindig.

In this photo released by Sputnik news agency on Friday, Feb. 9, 2024, Russian President Vladimir Putin, right, gestures as he speaks during an interview with former Fox News host Tucker Carlson at the Kremlin in Moscow, Russia, Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2024. (Gavriil Grigorov, Sputnik, Kremlin Pool Photo via AP)

8. Tony Romo

Someone got the “Stop Trying to Predict Every Freaking Play” memo.

FILE – In this Sept. 24, 2017, file photo, Tony Romo and Jim Nantz work in the broadcast booth before an NFL football game between the Green Bay Packers and the Cincinnati Bengals in Green Bay, Wis. Nantz and Romo were inseparable when CBS broadcast the Super Bowl two years ago. Next week, they won’t see each other until they are in the broadcast booth a couple hours prior to kickoff. Keeping announcers separated until game day has been standard practice this season due to the Coronavirus pandemic. (AP Photo/Morry Gash, File)

7. Roger Goodell

Counting down the days until he can sell Super Bowl rights to the richest streamer.

NFL football commissioner Roger Goodell speaks during a Super Bowl 58 news conference, Monday, Feb. 5, 2024, in Las Vegas. The San Francisco 49ers face the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl 58 on Sunday. (AP Photo/Matt York)

6. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Regurgitated ad reminds voters there’s a presidential candidate even more hopelessly unqualified than Biden and Trump.

FILE – Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. speaks during a campaign event, Nov. 14, 2023, in Columbia, S.C. (AP Photo/Meg Kinnard)

5. (tie) Streaking

The 1970s called, and they want their idiot fan ritual back.

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – FEBRUARY 11: A fan is escorted away after running onto the field in the third quarter during Super Bowl LVIII between the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefs at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

5. (tie) Jake Moody

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times..

San Francisco 49ers kicker Jake Moody (4) kicks an extra point against the Kansas City Chiefs during the second half of the NFL Super Bowl 58 football game Sunday, Feb. 11, 2024, in Las Vegas. The ball was blocked on the attempt. (AP Photo/Frank Franklin II)

5. (tie) Jauan Jennings

When the game’s most effective passer is a receiver ….

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – FEBRUARY 11: Jauan Jennings #15 of the San Francisco 49ers throws the ball to Christian McCaffrey #23 for a touchdown in the second quarter against the Kansas City Chiefs during Super Bowl LVIII at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

4. Brock Purdy

Niners QB still somewhere between Irrelevant and Immortal.

Kansas City Chiefs defensive tackle Chris Jones (95) chases San Francisco 49ers quarterback Brock Purdy (13) during the second half of the NFL Super Bowl 58 football game Sunday, Feb. 11, 2024, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/George Walker IV)

3. Travis Kelce

Still oftentimes insufferable. And still oftentimes uncoverable.

Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce (87) runs after a catch against Kansas City Chiefs safety Chamarri Conner (27) during the second half of the NFL Super Bowl 58 football game Sunday, Feb. 11, 2024, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Frank Franklin II)

2. Taylor Swift

A Super Bowl so compelling, you forgot for a second or two that she was even in the building..

Taylor Swift embraces Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce after the NFL Super Bowl 58 football game against the San Francisco 49ers, Sunday, Feb. 11, 2024, in Las Vegas. The Chiefs won 25-22 against the 49ers. (AP Photo/Abbie Parr)

1. Patrick Mahomes

How dare these mere mortals challenge him with their primitive skills..

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – FEBRUARY 11: Mecole Hardman Jr. #12 of the Kansas City Chiefs celebrates with Patrick Mahomes #15 after scoring the game-winning touchdown in overtime to defeat the San Francisco 49ers 25-22 during Super Bowl LVIII at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Others receiving votes
Mayo Cat, Mecole Hardman, Kyle Shanahan, Isiah Pacheco, Frank Sinatra circa 1969, Harrison Butker, Christian McCaffrey, Brittany Mahomes, Marques Valdez-Scantling, Jason Kelce, Kickin’ Rob Gronkowski, Deebo Samuel, Puppy Bowl, George Kittle, couch potatoes, Ray-Ray McCloud, Nick Bosa, Reba McEntire, E-Trade babies, Dan Campbell, Lionel Messi, Christopher Walken, Jim Nantz, Hot Honey Pizza, Olivia Culpo, The Sphere, Tyreek Hill, Jackson Mahomes.

(Screen grab from YouTube)

You can hear Kevin Cusick tomorrow morning and on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow. He can be reached at kcusick@pioneerpress.com.

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