Two couples seem to be vying for most of America’s attention on this Sabbath in the dead of winter, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce and Kanye West and some poor woman he drags around on a leash after having dressed her in what appear to be carpet remnants and pieces of string.

Swift, of course, is a show business phenomenon who sells out stadiums around the world, including here at U.S. Bank Stadium last June. My, that was an expensive evening. Kelce plays for the Kansas City Chiefs.

West was or is a singer once married to Kim Kardashian. His new wife, who demonstrates an unshakeable fealty to her man, like castrated Republicans to Donald Trump, is Bianca Censori, an Australian.

If we ever get to vote, I’m going with Swift/Kelce. Swift has charmingly embraced the NFL’s chaos, albeit from private suites, and her appearances at Chiefs games are anticipated as much as long bygone radio man Cedric Adams telling the Upper Midwest on Sunday nights “to turn on your porch lights and guide the Packers home.” For you younger readers, before the Vikings arrived in 1961, this was Packer country.

West, apparently to stay in the news, has expressed a fondness for dentistry and just got a mouthful of titanium teeth, like those worn by Richard Kiel, who played Jaws in the James Bond films “The Spy Who Loved Me” and “Moonraker.” West’s representative – there is a job for everybody – said West’s new teeth are permanent. I’m guessing Censori didn’t have an opinion.

There are a couple of reasons to vote for Swift/Kelce besides normalcy. Kelce, one of the best tight ends in NFL history, is the starting tight end for the Chiefs, who play San Francisco next week in the Super Bowl, in Las Vegas. He probably tears apart one of Donna’s whole roasted chickens with his bare hands, but this does not bother Taylor, who probably has a staff of chefs and eats dainty portions. Oh, Donna. That’s Kelce’s mom. We’ve met the whole family, America that is, including bare-chested Jason, Kelce’s brother, who plays for Philadelphia.

If you have young women around the place on Sundays, you know that this has not been a normal football season. One if these women even wears Kansas City Chiefs socks.

All in all, it’s been fun. Besides, who gives a bleep?

Well …

Only one person could ruin the Swift/Kelce fairytale and he’s been creeping around the edges. Donald Trump has been intimating, apropos of only his own insecurities, that he is more popular than Swift. That is not likely. Certainly, he could never charge for a ticket what Swift commands.

The Republican politicians who Trump owns, and whose genitals are kept in glass jars at Mar-a-Lago for the guests to see, have even been creating, out of whole cloth, just to please the boss, the notion that Swift is some kind of political secret double-agent acting on behalf of Joe Biden. And that she could rig the Super Bowl!

Really? And how would that work exactly? Don, you never learned to say what the rest of us say when asked about Swift/Kelce.

WHO GIVES A BLEEP!

We don’t live in strange times. We live in disturbed times. Nothing can be what it is without becoming political, even a corny romance between the big star and the big hero football lug.

Hey, Kanye, give us a smile.

Joe Soucheray can be reached at jsoucheray@pioneerpress.com. Soucheray’s “Garage Logic” podcast can be heard at garagelogic.com.

Related Articles

Real World Economics: Ayn Rand and the Grand Canyon

Skywatch: A retired chariot driver

Joe Soucheray: How would you have handled the Ricky Cobb stop, County Attorney Moriarty?

Real World Economics: Musings on military conscription, 50 years on

B Kyle: Focus on skyways, panhandling, people in crisis and police